Ariana’s ‘Pump Rules’ Bday Farty, Er, Party Begins

Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules began right where we left our Sexy Unique SURvers: the dawn of the dueling Pumpcations. While their colleagues talked bird droppings and green tea shots over in the Hamptons, Ariana, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Brittany, Jax, and Jeremy trekked up to Sonoma County for a birthday weekend full of NASCAR and wine. Oh, and farts. So, so many farts. G'bless this show.

After the Sonoma County squadron touched down in Oakland, Ariana and Sandoval hit their friends with a surprise: they would be spending the trip in an RV. Everyone was beyond amped to cruise around Northern California in the mobile home, but one SURver brought up a valid concern: the flatulence in the close counters, er, close quarters. In a talking head, Brittany said she was worried Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, and Jax would hot box the motorhome with their cheese cutting.

“Those boys fart like crazy,” she explained. “It drives me nuts.”

Jax, Tom, and Tom's — or as I like to call them, JTT — toots are apparently so gnarly, Brittany had trouble thinking about anything else. As Jax took a quick nap in the RV, Brittany asked what he was doing. Before he could answer his girlfriend, she guessed, “Farting?” I love Brittany.

And just when I thought this exchange couldn’t be more charming, Jax served up the classic dad line that is "I’m checking my eyelids for holes.” May these two stay together forever.

Later that evening, the Sonoma County squadron tucked into their bunks for the night. Just as everyone was about to fall into a tequila-soaked slumber, we heard the unmistakable sound of someone ripping butt. Schwartz groaned, Brittany reminded everyone that farting in the RV was not OK, and the culprit passed some more gas.

“Goodnight, a**holes," replied Jax. And then we cut to commercial. Now, that is how you put a butt-on on a scene.