Life

9 Of The Most Intimate Sex Positions

by Amanda Chatel
Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

For a lot of people, sex and love don't have to coincide, so sex doesn't always have to be intimate. Hell, even when you're in love and in a long-term relationship, you don't always want it to be intimate in bed. I mean, who has ever had a quickie before work and turned to their partner and said, "Now that's intimacy!" Probably not too many. But sometimes you don't want intimacy, even when you are in love. Sometimes you want fast, animistic, or even rough sex with your partner. For some people, there's nothing like a few rounds of some awesome rough sex to make a bad day so much better.

But on days when you're not in the mood to be tossed around or handcuffed to the bed, you just might crave something else, something that's more intimate, in which you feel a deeper connection than when you're being ravaged. It's in these moments that position is everything. While intimacy depends a lot on conversation, as well, when it comes down to action, it's important to turn to sex positions that are either going to build or strengthen the intimacy you already have. Here are nine sex positions that are all about being intimate.

1Missionary

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How to do it: While on your back, have your partner climb on top and penetrate you from there. You know, in that good ol' fashioned, back to basics sort of way.

Why it's so intimate: Even though missionary doesn't always rate very high on everyone's list of preferred positions, one can't deny it's one of the most intimate sex positions there is. You're wrapped in each other's arms, leg intertwined, and there's so much eye contact — unless, of course, you close your eyes. But if you close your eyes, then you miss out.

2Side-By-Side

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How to do it: Basically, side-by-side is a modified missionary position. The only difference being, in addition to being on your sides, your top leg is draped over your partner's hip, so you can pull them deeper into you.

Why it's so intimate: Again, we're dealing with a position that's all about eye contact and physical closeness. Both of these are paramount when it comes to intimate positions.

3Modified Doggy

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How to do it: While starting in traditional doggy style, lower yourselves down until you're almost flat on the bed. Then continue on as you would with regular doggy style.

Why it's so intimate: Although traditional doggy style is a big favorite for lots of people, on a scale of intimacy, it's not really high up there. But in modified doggy you get to kiss and even have some high contact. So you're getting the best of both worlds: hot animalistic sex and intimacy.

4Anal Play

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How to do it: When it comes to anal sex or anal play, as long as you have lube — whether your partner has a penis or is wearing a strap on — then any position that feels best is the best one for you and your partner.

Why it's so intimate: For many couples, anal is something they work up to after a foundation of trust has been built. It's also a vulnerable position for those on the receiving end because it's far more intense a feeling, it's still taboo, and it's just a whole other level of many things, making it an intimate AF position.

5Lotus

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How to do it: With your partner sitting cross legged, lower yourself into their lap, and basically just give each other a nice long sex hug.

Why it's so intimate: Well, it's a sex hug. Very few things are more intimate than sex hugs. Also, this position requires communication, because it's a bit tricky to get into and communication is necessary for intimacy.

6Doggy Blow Job

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How to do it: While in the doggy style position, give your partner a blow job while they're in front of you on their knees.

Why it's so intimate: As the giver, this is a very submissive sex position. What that means is that if you're playing the role of a submissive to a dominate, there's a whole boatload of trust there. Trust is necessary when it comes to having a true intimate connection and experience.

7Spooning

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How to do it: While in the spooning position, have your partner penetrate you from behind. You can also reach around with your top arm, pulling them deeper into you.

Why it's so intimate: Cuddling, in general, is intimate. I mean, how many people do you know run around just cuddling anyone? (Cuddle parties excluded, of course.) Because of this fact, this is one hell of an intimate position. It's also a position that's not to be rushed, but to be enjoyed slowly, adding to the intimacy.

8Seated Oral

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How to do it: With one partner sitting, have the other partner orally stimulate the other. Then, of course, you'll probably want to switch positions.

Why it's so intimate: For many, oral sex makes them feel vulnerable. While feeling vulnerable during sex isn't a bad thing, it is a feeling that's best enjoyed when you have an intimate bond with someone. Therefore, making this particular position one of the most intimate of the intimate, to be honest.

9Doggy With A Vibrator

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How to do it: While in traditional doggy style, incorporate a vibrator so your clitoris can be stimulated as your G-Spot is stimulated by your partner.

Why it's so intimate: Although using toys during sex has become very common, it's still not something that many people pull out during, say, a one-night stand. For some, before they can introduce a sex toy to the equation, they need to feel comfortable and trust that partner — both things that create intimacy.

You may not need intimacy to have great sex, but when you slow it down and opt for intimate positions, you do experience things in a far different way than in positions that aren't so connected. You might even be surprised to find intimate positions actually a better fit for you and your sexual desires.