Sometimes, you can sense a breakup from a mile away. Other times, it might creep up on you. If you know the signs your relationship is falling apart, though, you may be able to see them soon enough to salvage it. Feeling less than satisfied in your relationship is normal once in a while and could be just a hiccup if it only lasts for a few days at a time. But if you notice one of them for several weeks, take note, says Barbara Neitlich, LCSW, author of Stop Dating Like a Teenager.
"Don't ignore it, as many people do, thinking that it will be magically resolved," she tells Bustle. "Communicate with your partner. Show interest in the change of behavior and be open to hearing why they have been acting the way that they have. Ask thoughtful questions, not in an attacking manner but in an inquisitive manner so that you are not immediately putting your partner on the defensive. If there is something going on, you want your partner to be able to openly discuss it with you." Rather than get angry, try to be curious about how your relationship could be improved and willing to work together on it.
According to Neitlich, these are all signs your relationship's on shaky grounds.
1You're Putting In More Effort Than Them
It's normal for couples to have conflict. The important thing is that both people are working to fix it. If your partner's not taking the time and effort to give you one you need, you don't have much to work with.
2They're Not Listening
Knowing each other's wants and needs is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship, and that can't happen if you're not both listening.
3You Have Nothing To Talk About
It's normal to have less to discuss once the relationship progresses, but if you have enough in common to make a lasting relationship work, you'll be able to keep the conversation going over dinner.
4One Of You Is Constantly In A Bad Mood
If you've noticed one of you is in a bad mood more often than you used to be, that could be because the relationship's causing unhappiness. And there's not much point in being in a relationship if it's not making you happy.
5You Don't Make Up
One major difference between healthy relationship conflict and fights that endanger a couple are that healthy conflicts get resolved. If you or your partner aren't making an effort to apologize or the same issues get rehashed over and over again, the issue may not be temporary.
6You're Feeling Anxious
If one of you is experiencing frequent anxiety of an unknown source, it's possible that you've repressed negative feelings about the relationship.
7One Of You Is Getting Back In Touch With Exes
There's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, but if you find yourself wanting to get back in touch with yours after not talking for a while, you may be subconsciously trying to meet a need your partner isn't meeting. And if you see them suddenly talking to exes on social media, you'd be right to wonder if that's the case for them.
None of these signs means you have to break up, but they do mean you should talk to your partner and try to fix things. The amount of effort you're each willing to put in will determine whether the relationship survives.
