Life
If you're looking bring new, exciting people into your life, you'll need to think a little before you speak. Sure, you don't want to put excess pressure on yourself or be unnatural (remember, you're awesome, just as is), but there are certain things to avoid saying if you want to make a good first impression.
As a certified health coach, I work with people on feeling comfortable in their own skin, while also helping with being aware of their surroundings, meaning the crowd and ambience. It's important to be appropriate in speaking, so gauging how your crowd might react or judging the environment can be helpful. For instance, while you might pound shots to make a fun impression around college friends, you won't want to get wild when out to dinner with your SO's parents or at a work event. Plus, an extra tip: I always say, "Be interested and interesting." (I got this from my mama.) Instead of just being your wonderful, interesting self, also be interested in getting to know the other person by asking questions and engaging him or her in stimulating conversation. People find it easiest to talk about the topic they know most about (themselves), after all. Here are seven things to avoid saying if you want to appear intriguing.
1"How Did You Hear About This Event?"
The best way to put yourself out there and make a great impression is to show you're truly interested in what someone has to say, Sasha Bracha Bregman, Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Expert, and Co-Founder of the Elite and Discreet Matchmaking Service, tells Bustle. "Avoid generic, close-ended questions such as, 'So what do you do?' or 'How did you hear about this event?'" Bregman suggests that instead to try and ask questions that are not only engaging, but show that you've noticed that person's unique qualities. Some examples? Bregman says opening with a positive comment on their style or leading in with what you do for a living will get the conversation going!
2"That Sucks."
This is just an example, but really showing negativity and lack of enthusiasm can be a real turn off, Bregman explains. Go into an event with some positive energy, and be friendly to those around you, Bregman suggests. When you seem excited to be there, that excitement will be reflected in your interactions with others. "Avoid saying any negative or blasé comments," he also says.
3"I'm Not Staying Long."
"Avoid telling people that you're waiting to meet up with other people, or that you aren't staying long," "This basically sends the message that you are not invested in wherever you're at, and as a result, those around you won't invest in getting to know you." And once you make it clear that you won't be sticking around, those who could have taken the time talking to you previously, may now overlook you, Bregman explains.
4"Let Me Check My Phone."
"Avoid commenting on things like poor cell reception," says Bregman. "Having a device in your hand while trying to be social is kinda like saying, 'I'm here with y'all until something better comes up!" Instead keep the phone in your pocket and be present.
5"I Don't Care."
If this is said to an SO, it's super hurtful and dismissive, and may seem like you're basically saying you don't care about your partner's feelings and don't take the relationship seriously. Yet, if you say this to a stranger or a new acquaintance, it gives off a disinterested impression.
6"Sorry, What Did You Say?"
OK, so if you're in a noisy restaurant or at a concert, this might make sense. Yet, if you're somewhere quiet enough where you should be able to hear what the person is saying, this can come across as rude and shows you're not listening. People respond best to those who are engaged and show they're genuinely interested in what they're saying, so be sure to have that attentiveness reflected in your speech.
7"I Don't Know."
Whether you're in a job interview and simply don't have any questions of your own to ask at the end, or you're out with friends and you say this in response to a question that was asked, it seems like you don't care -- even if you do. You won't be able to give an inside look into who you are or show any depth, here. Instead, take a moment to think of something if you need to and give a good response. (And, if it's the interview, do be prepared.)
Making a good impression is definitely something we all want, but it's important to remember to do what's natural to you. Being perky and eternally smiley may not be your thing, but showing up and actively engaging with others will always earn you brownie points where it counts.
