7 Things It Means For Your Relationship If You Weren't The First One To Say "I Love You"

"Some people are not comfortable sharing their feelings verbally and not being big on words is totally fine as long as you use other ways to show affection," relationship therapist Irina Baechle, LCSW, tells Bustle. That's why it's important to be familiar with your love language. Maybe "I love you," is just a phrase to you that doesn't hold as much importance as spending quality time with your partner. Maybe you like to express love through physical touch and affectionate gestures. If that's the case, it's important to let your partner know and get clear on their love language as well. Because if your partner needs to hear those three words to feel loved, you may need to get more comfortable saying it.

If you're always the one who says "I love you, too," Baechle says this can create a sense of "investment imbalance" in your relationship. Your partner shouldn't always be the first one to say those three words. If they are, it's important to ask yourself why you can't bring yourself to say it first. As Baechle say, "It could possibly mean that you simply don’t feel it."

Timing is everything in relationships. As Dr. Caroline Madden, relationship therapist and author, tells Bustle, "People don't fall in love at the exact same time." It doesn't mean that you're not into your partner and it doesn't mean that you're unsure of where things are going. "It could be that your love is growing, but you aren’t there quite yet," she says. If that's the case, you probably enjoy your partner's company and you're seeing where things go.

Sometimes not being the first to say "I love you" has nothing to do with your feelings about your partner. As Florrie Barron, LSMW, staff therapist at New York institute, Blanton-Peale, tells Bustle, it may have to do with your fear of rejection. Being the first to say "I love you" can be scary for some, even if you have a pretty good idea of how your partner feels. "If you are not honest in your relationship, you can set yourself up for communication issues later down the line," Barron says. If you didn't say "I love you" first because of fear and insecurities, this can prevent you from having the type of relationship you actually want. If you're having difficulty opening up, it may be worth it to speak with a professional who can help you uncover where this insecurity comes from.

Sometimes hearing those three small words for the first time can come as a complete surprise. "It's possible that if your partner expresses love first, they felt love more intensely," David Bennett, counselor and relationship expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. At the time, your partner may have been much more into you than you probably thought. If your interest in them doesn't quite match up to their interest in you, Bennett says it could potentially mean that your partner will become more "emotionally needy" than you would prefer. This won't necessarily apply to everyone, but it's important to talk with your partner if feelings and expectations seem mismatched.

"Some people are more likely to hold back their thoughts and take their cue from how others engage them," Bennett says. But if your partner says "I love you" first, it could mean that they're more expressive and outgoing. They're likely the type who doesn't hold back during conversations — when they're in the moment, they will say what they're thinking and how they feel. You may even notice this in the way they express themselves in other conversations. It's a good quality to have because you never have to be a mind reader, and you'll likely always know what your partner is really thinking because they're not afraid to verbalize it.

In the moment, saying those three words for the very first time can be a big deal. But according to Bennett, it doesn't really matter who says it first in the long run. "The important thing is that both partners love each other and express it regularly," he says. "Most strong couples may not even remember who 'broke the seal' anyway."

So don't worry, every couple is different. There's not always going to be a deeper meaning behind everything that happens in your relationship. Sometimes, you just have to take it for what it is. If your partner expressed their love for you first, it may just mean that they were feeling it in the moment and decided to say it. As Bennett says, the important thing is that you keep on saying it.