Sex and witchcraft make intimate bedfellows. Both practices harness primal desires and powerful energies — and are still taboo for women and queer folks to engage in, according to Christian patriarchy. As Halloween approaches and the air is thick with magic and mayhem, trying out a few sex tips from a witch is one way to tap into the seasonal spirit. After all, the streets outside are filled with folks in fantastical (and often highly erotic) garb, and we all know that sometimes the best treats aren't the ones that come in candy form.
For non-practicing folks interested in dipping their toe into the waters of witchcraft, it's important to start with spellwork that's simple. Cleansing your surroundings and centering yourself in your body is vital to set the stage for any kind of magic. Because witchcraft practices are incredibly diverse (there is no unified text and there are as many varieties of witches as there are weeds in the wilderness), it's also important to figure out what kind of magical practice you're suited to. Like sex, careful trial and error with magic is often the best way to figure out what resonates with you.
The following are seven sex tips from witches that newbies and lifelong practitioners alike can try:
1Engage In Embodied Practices
Vanessa Irena, a musician and witch who performs under the name knifesex, tells Bustle how important it is to be mindful of your body during sex. "Sex can be an incredibly transcendent experience, which makes it super easy to dissociate or mentally check out mid-coitus," she tells Bustle. "Being fully present in your body can be really difficult but allowing yourself to really feel what is going on can greatly enhance the experience."
Irena suggests engaging in "embodied practices" like yoga, massage, dance, or body awareness meditation to prep your body and mind for sexual engagement. These activities can also train you to heighten your senses, which often means heightening the pleasure you experience during sex.
2Experiment With Herbal Aphrodisiacs
"Herbal allies can really enhance your sex life," Irena says. "There are a number of herbs associated with love which also behave as aphrodisiacs that I utilize regularly such as damiana, rose, cinnamon, jasmine, and my favorite, cannabis." As Irena notes, these herbs can be burned as incense, made into tea, and for the weed witches out there, smoked. (Yes, marijuana magic is really a thing.)
3Sanctify Your Space
Speaking of herbs, cleansing your bedroom area is yet another way to intensify your sensual vibes. Although you may have no control over what a partner's bedroom looks like, you certainly have the ability to transform your own boudoir into a den of transcendent connection (or just, you know, a room that makes you feel hot AF). This can mean anything from setting up an altar of items that are both sensual and sacred near your bed, to burning the abovementioned herbs prior to a solo or partnered session and even washing your sheets in a ritual bath created with the same ingredients.
4Make Your Own Lube
If you like to get crafty, Irena also suggests using a blend of aphrodisiac herbs infused into coconut oil for use as a natural lube or a massage oil. "Make sure not to use coconut oil as a lube if you are using latex condoms though," she warns.
5Try A Crystal Sexual Aid
If, like many witches, you're drawn to the prismatic magic in crystals, Chakrubs' sexual wellness products crystal sexual wellness products might be for you. Not only do they contain different properties that can aid in spellwork (obsidian for healing trauma, rose quartz for ushering in self-love), they also make pretty fantastic conversation pieces — and mantlepieces. For those who don't believe in crystal healing, they are still a beautiful and organic option to mix it up if you're tired of your boring old silicone dildo.
6Explore Sex Magic
Sex magic is the practice of manifesting your goals and desires by harnessing the energy produced during a sexual act. Although it can take a lot of practice to hone your intentions properly (and not get distracted by how good you're feeling), for those interested in the intersections between sex and magic, it's definitely worth exploring.
7Develop A Relationship With A Deity Or Spirit Associated With Sex
It may seem daunting to those just starting out, but according to Vanessa Irena, developing a personal relationship with a spirit or deity associated with sex can be incredibly powerful. (Fun fact: her entire upcoming record is devoted to the goddess Babalon). "As a devotee of Babalon, I keep an altar for Her in my bedroom where I make regular offerings but your practice need not be as elaborate," she explains. "Once you develop a relationship with a spirit over time they will let you know how best to honor that relationship. If you don’t know where to begin, you can start by lighting a candle or burning some incense on Fridays, which are ruled by the planet Venus, and perform a focused action of your choice based around sex. This can be meditating on sex, prayer centered around healing from sexual shame or trauma, movement or dance, self-massage, or masturbation. Use your intuition to let your body tell you what it needs. This is a time to treat your body and sexuality as something sacred that should be honored."
Although October is often a time for non-practicing people to become enamored with witchcraft, it's important to note how transformative the practice can be year round. You don't need an excuse to try out these sex tips from a witch, but if Halloween inspires you to do just one thing this season, why not infuse your sex life with a little magic?
