What Experts Want You To Know If You're Dumping Someone During Mercury Retrograde

If you know your relationship is way past its expiration date, again, it's fine to end things. "What you don't want to do is make any major decisions that are spur of the moment, not well thought out, or done in haste or anger," Wright says. "The reason we have this stigma about Mercury retrograde is because our thinking is a bit skewed." Mercury rules our thoughts and speech. When it's moving backwards, it can cloud your judgment and make you think or say things that you wouldn't normally. So if you haven't already been thinking of breaking up for a while, wait it out a bit. "Especially in relationships, things like harsh words or ultimatums, can’t be taken back, Wright says.

This season's Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is bound to be an emotional time for all of us. According to Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, Scorpio is a Water sign and the natural ruler of the seventh house of relationships. "The retrograde influence of the planet of communication in this powerful sign can and will drive some of us to experience self-doubt and feelings of uncertainty in the realm of relationships," Montúfar says. Althought these feelings might seem like they come from a very real place, it may actually just be paranoia.

So if you're suddenly thinking about ending things with your partner due to suspicion or insecurity, you may want to hold off for a bit. "Scorpio is a fixed sign, meaning that the feeling of losing control could be informing our emotions," Montúfar says. It's important to know that this is an illusion. If a situation comes up and it's making you suspicious, Mercury retrograde is a good time to analyze things and get to the heart of the matter. Gather all the information and don't jump to conlusions right away.

When Mercury goes retrograde, it's a good time to slow down and do some self-reflection. As Skye Alexander, astrologer and author of Magickal Astrology, tells Bustle, "Consider taking a temporary break from your partner or go on retreat, if you can." If you're really feeling the effects of the retrograde, it can also be helpful to get advice from a therapist, spiritual counselor, or a friend.

If you're being pushed to end a relationship, especially one that's toxic, it's a good time to analyze your past relationships and see if there any unhealthy patterns that you should be aware of. "This isn’t just Mercury Retrograde, it’s Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio," Francesca Oddie, astrologer and author of Astrology IRL, tells Bustle. "The psychological and feelings from the depths are up for analysis." This could be a really good time to reflect and come to terms with why you may be drawn to certain types of situation and partners.

Mercury goes retrograde every four months for approximately three weeks. During this time, it's important to try really hard to be honest and fair when you're communicating with your partner. Don’t expect them to read between the lines, and don't get mad when they don't. "Say what you mean and mean what you say," Alexander says. "Be patient with yourself and others. Try not to jump to conclusions or take offense where it may not be intended." Mercury retrogrades can mess with your communication. It's easy to take things the wrong way and make it a bigger deal than it is. If that triggers thoughts of a breakup, really hold off on saying something you don't mean. This could just be Mercury retrograde messing with you.

"The thing with Mercury Retro is, decisions made now tend not to be lasting," Oddie says. "So if you must and the timing is right for you, then end the relationship. But be aware that you might feel differently in a few weeks." Many times, relationships that break up during a Mercury retrograde don't always stay broken up. People start thinking clearly again once Mercury goes direct, and they may end up regretting their decision.

Mercury retrograde can feel like it goes on forever, especially if all kinds of things are going wrong. But it's only a few weeks. For instance, this one only lasts from Oct. 31 to Nov. 20. If you really can't stand to be with your partner any longer and it's been coming for a while, it's OK to breakup. Otherwise, you might want to wait until Mercury goes direct.