Life
I'm always so busy salivating over Trader Joe's roasted plantain chips (I make no apologies) that I almost forget Joe carries many other things to obsess over. If you're wondering what's cooking in 2019, I've rounded up a list of five products Trader Joe's has launched in 2019 that aren't food. And like everything else in the store, you're going to want to buy all of it with the money you don't have.
Something happens when you step inside your local Trader Joe's. It's like an invisible force takes over, and you lose any semblance of self-control. The angel on your one shoulder mysteriously disappears. Meanwhile, the devil on the other shoulder is all, "Do it. Buy the falafel wrap. DO IT!" You spend a solid 20 minutes in the skincare section and can hear your mother's voice in your head: "You don't need tea tree oil face wash. You don't even wash your face!" You buy it anyway, because what does your mom know about skincare?
And Joe certainly knows how to tempt you with those plants when you first walk in the store. You don't cook with basil. You don't even like the taste of basil. But yes you need a basil plant. It's 2019! How can you not have a basil plant? This is going to photograph beautifully for your Instagram page.
If you want to wave bye-bye to a little more of your paycheck but don't really need more bags of roasted plantain chips (JK, because you always need more bags of roasted plantain chips), here five other items you can buy from Joe that launched this year that you can't eat... although you might want to anyway.
1Lemon Cookie Scented Candle
I know what you're thinking: "Why would I want my home to smell like a lemon cookie?" But, I mean, why wouldn't you? Trader Joe's lemon cookie scented candle smells so good that you're going to want to eat it. (But don't.) If the candle makes you hungry, try Joe's recipe for blueberry-lemon hand pies instead with a dollop (or five scoops) of vanilla ice cream on the side. You're welcome.
2Almond Ginger Scent Oatmeal Exfoliant Bar
"Oatmeal is for breakfast," you say. "It's bland and runny," you say. False! Oatmeal is for the shower, and it's soothing and heavenly. Joe's almond ginger scent oatmeal exfoliant bar is made in France, so you can feel extra #fancy. Oh, and please note the sustainable packaging. They used to use plastic, but then Joe was like, "We have standards!" Now, they're a little more eco-friendly with paper.
3Sweet Basil Foaming Hand Soap
Is it a salad? Nope, it's soap! Winter is over and spring has sprung. Treat your paws to this luxurious sweet basil foaming hand soap. If angels and the Home Depot garden center had a child, it would be Joe's basil soap. Plus, thanks to its skin-loving ingredients, it won't dry your hands out, leaving you all scaly and shriveled. Bonus!
4Peony Tulips
Despite what you make think, Joe's peony tulips aren't a hybrid. They also go by the name "double tulips," because they have multiple layers of petals that smell absolutely divine. You can get them in all kinds of vibrant colors, like pink and yellow, and they have names like "Margarita" and "Endless Love." Yes, please. Isn't it time you treat yourself to flowers? Of course.
5Ultra Hydrating Gel Moisturizer
You know the super extra skincare products that nobody can afford accept maybe Oprah or Gwen Paltrow? Yeah. This isn't one of them. Joe's ultra hydrating gel moisturizer packs in lots of aloe leaf juice, green tea, birch leaf, and milk thistle extract. It also contains sodium hyaluronate to help your skin stay nice and moisturized without the oily residue. Who likes feeling all slippery and greasy? That would be... nobody.
