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39 Hilariously Absurd Things On Amazon
Oh sure, you can definitely find the basics on Amazon. Heck, there's a whole line now called Amazon Basics where the retail behemoth offers deal versions on their version of everyday items ranging from motor oil to bath towels. If you only stick to the basics when you're hitting up everyone's favorite online retailer, though, you're missing out on so much — like these hilariously absurd things on Amazon.
"Chances are, you can find it on Amazon" — it's the premise by which we live our shopping lives. No more wondering or worrying about where you're going to find a particular item you've seen out somewhere and fallen in love with. Now, we all rest secure in the knowledge that it's out there waiting for us on Amazon: and the products on this list are proof positive that this premise is indeed true. Need a silicone pig to separate your yolks from your whites? Check. Amazon has you covered. How about some finger covers so you can bogart your roomie's Cheetos without worrying about the tell-tale sticky orange residue that's typically left behind after such a heist? Yep. A barrette that can help you peel an orange? You're all set.
This, my friends, is of course the true genius of Amazon: You open up the app for one thing and suddenly you have a deep-seated need for $325.42 in additional must-haves. So get some of these hilarious but brilliant finds in that cart right now.
2. This Little Piggy Separates Egg Yolks With The Power Of His Snout
Peleg Design Silicone Egg Separator, $13, Amazon
This little piggy went to market — and came home as an egg separator. Crafted from 100 percent food-safe silicone, this porcine accessory uses suction to remove yolks from their whites in just seconds. He's much less messy than separating yolks by hand, gets all the yolk and leaves the whites uncontaminated, and the whole job goes by much faster. Plus, it's dishwasher-safe.
3. A Pad-Based Peel That's Fueled By Wine Extracts
Neogen Dermalogy Bio-Peel+ Gauze Peeling Wine, $19, Amazon
Red wine has been scientifically proven to have many health benefits — now, you can test those benefits on your face with these K-beauty wipes that both peel and exfoliate. The 100 percent cotton pads cleanse the skin gently, then apply the peeling serum to the skin, ultimately exfoliating to leave skin soft and smooth. The wine extract delivers powerful antioxidants for lasting healing, and makes the pad smell like a grape.
4. This Fan Is Just Darn Cute
Fred & Friends Little Big Fan, $27, Amazon
If you're stuck in an office where the temperature is never right, this Little Big Fan can make a big difference without taking up a ton of space on your desk. Designed for the ultimate in portability, it only weighs 4 ounces, and runs off of USB power, so you can take it from workspace to workspace.
5. These Finger Guards Are Spy Gear For Those Who Sneak Food
ChipFingers Finger Covers, $9 (Set Of 3), Amazon
Made from food-grade silicone, these finger covers are designed to sit on any finger and provide protection from sauces, coverings, grease, and everything else food can leave behind when you're snacking. They're also useful to provide a bit of protection during food prep as a bit of a barrier in the event that your knife skills go awry. When they get dirty from a delicious round of cheesy goodness, simply throw them in the dishwasher.
6. These Odd But Genius Wine Seals Work Just Like Condoms
Wine Condoms, $14 (Set Of 6), Amazon
They look like condoms and they're applied to the neck of the wine bottle, but these wine condoms are not just a silly gag: They provide a real, food-safe, air-tight seal, so that any remaining wine in the bottle stays good for later consumption. Not only is is a conversation starter, but the condom wine seal has the added benefit of sitting flush to the lip of the wine bottle for easy storage in the refrigerator, and you can even turn a covered bottle on its side — they don't leak.
7. If You're Picky About Banana Slicing, This Is The Tool For You
Hutzler Banana Slicer, $9, Amazon
Safer than using a knife and faster, too, this banana slicer will certainly also give you something to talk about over breakfast. The plastic, BPA-free, dishwasher-safe device is safe enough even for kids to use, and produces nice, even slices that will look great in your fruit salad or over an ice cream dessert. This device has 4.2-stars from more than 5,700 customers, and seriously, the reviews alone are worth a read.
8. The Perfect Gentleman To Keep Your Razor At The Ready At All Times
Peleg Design Mr. Razor, $16, Amazon
How cute is this razor holder who stands at the ready to hold your shaver and attaches to your mirror or to tile with super-strong suction? It helps to organize your counter space while keeping your razor out of the way and ensures that you always know where it is when you're ready to shave. Buy an extra one for the bath so you'll have a razor at the ready there, too.
9. A Nostalgic Hot Dog Toaster For Game Day Or Any Day
Nostalgia Retro Pop-Up Hot Dog Toaster, $20, Amazon
Enjoy ballpark-style hot dogs on game day or any day with this retro-style pop-up hot dog toaster. Designed to cook two regular-sized or plump hot dogs at a time — plus the buns for each — its throwback style is perfect for a game room, RV, or luxe tailgate. It comes with tongs for removing the dogs, and features an adjustable timer and stop button.
10. A Giant Elasticated Band That Makes Sure Your Sheets Stay In Place
Rubber Tucker Sheet Hugger Band, $15, Amazon
Hate the feeling you get when you know your sheets have come off of the bed during the night? This oversized band fits around the entire perimeter of your mattress and holds on tight, making sure the sheets stay put. It installs in under a minute, with no clips to figure out and nothing to re-fit when you change your sheets — it's just a simple band, designed to make your life easier.
11. This Game Will Guarantee You A Lively Night At Home
Things They Don't Teach You In School, $20, Amazon
Sure to be a hit at your next party, this game is trivia with a difference: The questions aren't about the Battle of Gettysburg or who painted the Mona Lisa, they're on completely random factoids like what's the most popular day of the week to get it on. Like it says right there on the box: Totally useless knowledge, and totally fun, too.
12. The Barrettes That Would Make MacGyver Proud
Haxtec Multi-Tool Tactical Hair Clips, $9 (3 Pack), Amazon
Remember the TV show Alias, with super-spy Sydney Bristow? (I do, because I went to high school with Jennifer Garner, so I was a big fan.) Anyway, these hair clips are definitely Sydney-worthy, because not only do they actually hold your do, they're little multi-tools as well. Use the clip as a screwdriver or a wrench, or to cut through the ropes the bad guys have tied you up with. Or, you know, to cut through your next box from Amazon. Whatever.
13. The Genius Device That Strains Liquids Off Of Canned Goods
Prepworks By Progressive Can Colander, $4, Amazon
Designed to fit most standard-size cans, this plastic device snaps right on over the open top and allows you to invert your can and drain the water right off your food. The handles on the sides keep your fingers away from sharp edges, and with its small profile, this compact gadget stores easily in your drawers or cabinets.
14. This Gadget Helps You Start Your Own Avocado Plant
AvoSeedo Bowl, $11, Amazon
Your favorite fruit can become a house plant, too, thanks to this unique bowl. Just place your avocado pit in the center of the AvoSeedo, float it on a bowl of water, and in three to six weeks, your tree should begin to grow. A fun project for the whole family, once the seedling gets to about 2 feet in height, you can transplant it into a pot.
15. These Devices Will Save Your Beer
Save Brands Beer Savers, $9 (6 Pack), Amazon
Can't down a whole cold one? Use one of these bottle caps to keep it fresh for when you're ready to come back to it — it'll keep your beer as fizzy as it was when you cracked it open. Crafted from food-safe silicone, the set of 6 comes in a rainbow of colors so your whole gang can tell your drinks apart when you're at the pool or the beach, or when they're in the fridge.
16. A Pair Of Extra-Long Spatulas That Ensure You Get Down To The Very Last Drop
The Spatty & Spatty Daddy Last Drop Spatulas, $12, Amazon
All your condiments will be good to the last drop with these spatulas that feature handles that enable you to get into tight spaces: The Spatty has a 6-inch handle that's perfect for mustards, hot sauces, and even your beauty products — while the Spatty Daddy's handle is 12 inches for those taller bottles. Both have flexible BPA-free silicone heads, great for scraping around inside jars and bottles and getting down to the very end of your favorite products.
17. A Coaster For All The Times You Need Someplace To Set Your Drink
Hit Products Couch Coaster, $25, Amazon
There's always one seat in your house that's a great place to sit but doesn't have a place to put a drink down. Problem solved: Meet this ingenious device that gives you a place to put your soda, cocktail or coffee, or store your phone or remote. It can sit on the arm of your sofa or chair, or tuck it between your seat cushions — its versatile, patented design provides a steady base anywhere it's placed.
18. An Odd-Looking Scratcher That Really Works
Cactus Scratcher, $15, Amazon
With a 5-inch wide scratching surface that looks like a cactus ear, this back scratcher will give you relief where others just can't reach. The pad is double-sided, with two lengths of scratchers to assuage your itches — and the power ball grips on either end of the nearly 4-foot-long straps give you all the leverage you need to really get in there where you need it the most.
19. These Coolers Float Your Cans In Style
The Floozie, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon
When you're hanging out in the pool with a cold one, use this float that's cleverly designed to keep your beverage cold and by your side. Designed to hold any standard canned beverage, the Floozie will move with the flow of the water so your drink stays upright, and it comes apart easily for compact storage when not in use.
20. A Little Water Bottle For Your Dog
Brionac Dog Water Bottle, $14, Amazon
There's no need for Fido to go thirsty with this water bottle that's crafted from all food-grade materials and has a leak-proof silicone gel seal ring so you can be confident when carrying it on-the-go. One simple button opens the flow to the reservoir so your pet can be refreshed from the convenient, wide trough. It's available in your choice of pink or blue, too.
21. A Coffee Cover That Looks Like A Pig
Marna White Piggy Cup Cover, $15, Amazon
Keep the warmth in your hot beverages with this cup cover crafted from BPA-free silicone — with a distinctive piggy snout and tail for a touch of humor. It creates an air-tight seal and keeps out wandering particles of dust while ensuring that your tea, coffee, or cocoa remains warm when you have to step away. Perfect to cover cold drinks when you're enjoying a beverage outside, too.
22. These Colorful Figures Give You Some Extra Hands In The Bathroom
TROLIR Toothbrush Holder Set, $9 (Set Of 6), Amazon
Perfect to hang not only toothbrushes — but also washcloths, bath toys, and just about anything else on your bathroom wall— these silicone statuettes adhere with suction cups and look like multi-colored marching soldiers. Four holder shapes and two hook shapes will keep your countertops clean, and excess water drains off of hanging materials to keep them dry, well-ventilated, and hygienic.
23. A Tiny And Adorable Appliance That Cranks Out Waffle Sticks In Minutes
Babycakes Mini Waffle Stick Maker, $13, Amazon
Coming in under 2 pounds, this waffle stick maker is tiny but mighty: It cooks up four delicious waffle sticks in practically the blink of an eye. The plates have non-stick coating for fun and easy cooking, and the waffle maker has a power light so you'll know when it's ready. A convenient cord wrap makes for easy storage, too.
24. You Can Give This Gummy Bear Night Light A Hug Goodnight
FCTRY Gummygoods Gummy Bear Night Light, $30, Amazon
When you're ready for bed, just give this night light shaped like a friendly gummy bear a squeeze around the middle and he'll light up the night for you. The LED light emits a soft, warm glow thanks to your choice of battery power or your wall outlet — and a 60-minute USB timer saves energy either way. Available in five colors, he's a hit with kids and adults.
25. Make Your Own Push Pops With These Silicone Molds
Helpcook Silicone Ice Pop Molds, $9 (Set Of 6), Amazon
Enjoy fresh, homemade ice pops any time of the year with these silicone molds that are vibrantly colored and BPA-free. Crafted with a unique one-piece design, these molds have double-layer, anti-leak lids to prevent against a mess in your freezer — and their compact design saves space, too. Let your imagination go wild with combinations of juice, yogurt, or ice cream.
26. The Pillowcase That Has A Hoodie
HoodiePillow Hooded Pillowcase, $30, Amazon
Odd but awesome, this pillowcase has an added feature that's so brilliant, you'll wonder why you haven't seen it before — a hoodie. Made of high-quality sweatshirt material, it comes equipped with drawstrings to pull the hoodie closed around your head, as well as a headphone portal to conveniently string your cord through for tangle-free tunes. You'll also find a pocket for your smartphone so you can stay in touch or set an alarm.
27. This Bubble Wrap Wall Calendar Is Brilliant AF
2019 Bubble Wrap Wall Calendar, $15, Amazon
Who doesn't love bubble wrap? If you can restrain yourself to just one pop, now you can enjoy it daily with this calendar that features heavy bubbles for a louder, more oddly satisfying pop. It's a full 4 feet tall, so it's fun for kids and adults, and it's fun for home, office, or school. Colored dots mark off the months so you'll know just how many more bubbles you have left until you need to order next year's calendar.
28. This Colander Puts The "Eye" In Spaghetti
OTOTO Spaghetti Monster Colander, $19, Amazon
Your dinner guests will get a real eye full when you set this colander on the table for your next spaghetti dinner. This BPA-free gadget's fun monster eyes don't get in the way of its functionality, since it's heat-safe and purpose-made to fit one standard-size box of spaghetti. When you're done with dinner, put it in the dishwasher for easy clean-up.
29. An Eyeliner Stamp Shaped Like A Cat Eye
LA PURE Original Eyeliner Stamp, $13 (2 Pens), Amazon
Get out the door in a fraction of the time — and with the red-carpet-ready cat's eye of your dreams — with these eyeliner pens. The set includes a stamp for the left wing and a stamp for the right, and the opposing end of each pen has an eyeliner pencil to easily finish your look. Go out in the rain, cry your way through that tearjerker movie, dance all night: This smudge-proof, waterproof formula will last all night.
30. The Pasta-Shaped Pot Holders That Keep You Cool In The Kitchen
Monkey Business Pasta Shaped Pot Holders, $15, Amazon
Made from thick, heat-resistant silicone and shaped like oversized farfalle, these pot holders will spice up pasta night and keep your hands cool. The ridges ensure a firm hold on all your pots and pans, and you can use them outside on the grill, too. Should they get soiled, they're dishwasher-safe, so they clean up easily, too.
31. This Snail Mucin Cream Comes Packaged In An Adorable Snail
Ladykin Snail Mucin Cream, $13, Amazon
This K-beauty formula looks exactly like what it is: This facial cream is formulated from snail mucin, and it's ensconced in an adorable snail-shaped container. Enriched with vitamins A, C, and E, it leaves skin smooth, moisturized, and soft — it even protects against external irritants.
32. A Handbag Hook That'll Definitely Get A Second Look
Fred & Friends Shine & Dine Handbag Hook, $20, Amazon
Fred & Friends always comes up with unique products that offer functionality with a certain funky panache built right in, and this handbag hook is no exception. Made to look like a dramatically oversized diamond solitaire, it unlatches to hold your bag off the floor on the edge of a table or bar; the giant diamond is actually an LED light that you can use to help you read the menu in that dimly-lit-but-swanky cafe you love, or locate your keys in the bottom or your purse when it's dark.
33. These Magnets Really Tell A Tail
Dog Butt Magnets, $10 (Set Of 6), Amazon
Your friends and family will think you're hilarious when they get a look at these magnets modeled to look like a bunch of do bums and the fire hydrants they do their business on. These resin figures with built-in magnets make a fun and functional gift for pet lovers, too, and they're great for either home or work.
34. These Ladles Will Have Your Soup Game On Loch
OKOK Loch Ness Monster Ladles, $7 (3 Pack), Amazon
Made to stand on their own both on your counter and in your soup pot or bowl, these soup ladles designed to look like a certain legendary Scottish lake dweller are sure to be a hit with your whole family. Crafted from 100 percent food-safe nylon, the three pack set offers a family of green, blue, and purple Nessies for your kitchen, and they're great for punch, too.
35. The Litter Box That Cleans Itself
PetSafe Simply Clean Self-Cleaning Litter Box, $73, Amazon
Engineered to work on a pressurized sensor system, this self-cleaning litter box is exactly what you need to keep your beloved cat companion's waste out of sight — and scent. As soon as Felix exits the box, it turns to scoop out the clumping litter and deposit it in the sealed, bag-lined, air-tight waste receptacle: you simply change the bag periodically, and change the litter once every two weeks.
36. A Coloring Book That Will Take You To Your Good Place In No Time
Holy Mother Forking Shirtballs Coloring Book, $7, Amazon
When it's just been one of those days, come home and blow off some steam with this coloring book that features swear words that aren't swear words. With motifs like "Son of a Bench" and "Abso-Forking-Lutely" interspersed among fanciful designs on high-quality paper, it's ideal for markers, crayons, colored pencils, or even paint.
37. The Plate Dividers That Will Thrill Any Picky Eater
Food Cubby Plate Dividers, $15 (2 Pack), Amazon
The picky eater in your house will be beyond thrilled to see these plate dividers that simply and easily divide food on the plate to ensure no touching! Made from food-safe, BPA-free silicone, each divider neatly fits 1/2 cup of food for automatic, no-guessing portion control that works for both kids and adults, and the silicone has a light suction cup seal effect that prevents the foods and even sauces from running into one another.
38. This Hat Is A Must For Migraine Sufferers
FOMI Migraine Gel Ice Hat, $24, Amazon
Designed with a firm Velcro closure to apply customized pressure around your head, this headwear is purpose-made to provide relief to migraine sufferers. Crafted from lightweight, soothing fleece, it's engineered to contain three reusable gel packs that go in the freezer or fridge until you need them. Simply insert into the hat and adjust to your desired fit and pressure: the cold will provide soothing relief for the pain.
39. The Latest Gourmet Sea Salt Is Blended With Blue Cheese
Gustus Vitae Blue Cheese Sea Salt, $8, Amazon
Add the rich, robust flavor of blue cheese to your favorite dishes with this unique seasoning that's a blend of California sea salt and real powdered cheese. Perfect on steaks, salads, or veggies — even rim your martini with it for a delicious and truly gourmet touch. This blend contains no MSG or fillers of any kind, and the base of the container is magnetized so you can keep it close at hand on your fridge, stove, or grill.
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