22 Notable Non-Monogamous (Or At Least Romantically-Unconventional) Women

Tirzah Miller's uncle (and sometimes lover), John Noyes, founded the Oneida commune where "complex marriage" and the withdrawal method were literally the laws of the land. At Oneida, every man was married to every woman, and women mostly got to have sex with whomever they pleased — a concept that was, sadly, revolutionary at the time. As Slate explained it, "Noyes believed that sex was a kind of worship, and that in order to live without sin, men and women had to be free to worship all over the place with whoever they wanted." As the, "most sexually sought-after woman in the community," Tirzah embraced the hell out of her uncle's vision — in fact, Tirzah actually kept a diary about her polyamorous sexcapades at the sex commune.

Emma Goldman secured her place in history by being a vital player in the anarchist movement. Her debut novel, Anarchism and Other Essays, was particularly influential. Goldman's dedication to fighting The Man wasn't the only thing that made her unique, though. Emma and her boyfriend lived with another couple polyamorously. According to Slate, the four of them, "made love at the same time as they made political trouble."

Neith Boyce was an American novelist and playwright who helped start Provincetown Players — which was essentially a group of artists, writers, intellectuals, and amateur theater enthusiasts who put on productions in Cape Cod and New York City from time to time. Though the details on Boyce's marriage to American journalist and anarchist Hutchings Hapgood are sparse, it seems pretty clear that their union was more non-restrictive than most. In one of his letters to Boyce, Hapgood reportedly wrote, "Tell me that you love me, and also tell me about the flirtations you hare having." Awww, *swoon.*

Virginia Woolf — along with her sister, Vanessa Bell, and a slough of other English writers, philosophers, and artists — was involved in a polyamorous society of intellectuals. The Bloomsbury Group, as it was called, lasted from around 1907 to 1930 and "constituted a social support system for unconventional sexualities and polyamorous (open) relationships."

As if being the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic wasn't cool enough, Amelia Earheart was also openly non-monogamous. In fact, before she married George Putnam, she made sure he understood that monogamy would be a deal-breaker for her. In a now-famous letter, Earhart told Putnam, "I want you to understand I shall not hold you to any medieval code of faithfulness to me, nor shall I consider myself bound to you similarly," Amelia went on, "If we can be honest I think the difficulties which arise may best be avoided should you or I become interested deeply (or in passing) in anyone else." You can't get any clearer than that.

It's unclear whether or not Eleanor and FDR's open marriage included extra-marital sex, but NPR reports that the couple gave each other adequate space and freedom to, "cultivate romantic friendships outside of the marriage."

Physical or not, though, the Roosevelt's extra-marital relationships did seem to be passionate. Case in point: Eleanor apparently fell "deeply in love" with one of her "romantic friends" — an out-lesbian journalist named Lorena Hickok.

In addition to becoming one of Mexico's most cherished painters, Frida Kahlo was poly before it was cool. Though she struggled with it initially, Kahlo knew her husband — fellow artist and notable Communist, Diego Rivera — was not suited for monogamy. Rather than trying to change her partner, Kahlo had her own affairs with both men and women.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that Rivera was a self-proclaimed womanizer, he had a jealousy problem. As the Daily Mail put it, Rivera, "endured Frida's love affairs with women, but her relationships with other men would drive him to bouts of crazed jealousy." Because of this, Kahlo actually told one of her dearest male lovers, Jose Bartoli, to sign his love letters to her as "Sonja" so Rivera would think Kahlo was corresponding with one of her lady loves.

Clearly, these two aren't exactly the ideal example of a happy poly couple. (They divorced and remarried after Rivera slept with Kahlo's younger sister, Christine.) They did seem to love each other deeply, though; so that's something.

Simone de Beauvoir, the French existetialist and author of The Second Sex, said her consensually non-monogamous marriage to Jean-Paul Sartre was, "one undoubted success in my life." As a bisexual, Simone de Beauvoir embraced polyamory because she felt the, "urge to embrace all experience." Her and Sartre maintained a CNM marriage, which allowed for extra-marital affairs while the two remained primary partners, for 51 years. It was only after Sartre's death in 1980 that their open marriage came to a close.

Back in the early 1970s, Dodson spent time at a communal sex club and nudist community called Sandstone. The Sandstone Retreat, as it was called, was all about consensual non-monogamy. It was actually created by a CNM couple, too. But we'll get to them later.

Today, Barbara Dodson is a sex-positive artist, author, and PhD sexologist who focuses on women's sexual pleasure. Dodson also runs a private practice as a sex coach in New York City, and she's written extensively about the female orgasm and female masturbation. She also digs weed.

In an interview with Oprah back in 2011, Shirley Maclaine shared some of the details of her non-monogamous marriage with businessman Steve Parker. Maclaine told Oprah, "I had an open relationship with my husband [Steve Parker]. I had other affairs and so did he. But we were very good friends." Shirley also admitted to having sex with three people in one day when she was a politically-active youngster, but she reportedly didn't care for it too much. Maclaine told Oprah, "It was a political campaign where everyone was doing the same thing. So I didn't want to be left out." Apparently, that underwhelming experience helped Shirley discover that sex without emotional connection just wasn't her thing.

In 1969, Barbara Williamson and her husband, John Williamson, founded the Sandstone retreat in Topanga Canyon near Los Angeles. The Williamsons reportedly created Sandstone because they knew traditional marriage simply wouldn't work for either of them. As Barbara once explained, “We just knew that a traditional heterosexual marriage could not last, because two people could not give each other everything they need. So we built a bigger marriage.” Sadly, their "bigger marriage" project didn't last. Due largely to financial struggles, the Williamsons sold Sandstone in 1973.

Celeste West might be the coolest librarian that you've never heard of. As a working librarian in the 1960s, West advocated for alternative press to be featured on library shelves in the Bay Area. She also wrote three books on lesbian sex, polyfidelity, how to practice safe, and ethical non-monogamy. If you're interested in learning more about West's views on non-monogamy, or just her awesome life in general, then check out She Was A Booklegger.

Since 1969, Dossie Easton has "lived and worked in sexual minority cultures." As a psychotherapist, relationship counselor, author, and educator, Easton says she's "dedicated to feminist, polyamorous, BDSM, spiritual, gender-diverse, and LGBTQ individuals and communities." Easton's most well-known book, The Ethical Slut, functions as a how-to guide of sorts for delving into polyamory, so maybe check it out if you're considering opening up your relationship.

As Nashville's poster woman for All Things Country And Western, it might surprise you to learn that Dolly Parton thinks that "the most overrated virtue is monogamy." At least, it surprised me. I guess it shouldn't, though; because Dolly and her husband, Carl Thomas Dean, have apparently been making consensual non-monogamy work for over 50 years now. Good for them.

As the openly bisexual "Mother of Pride," Brenda Howard is one of my new heroes for sure. On top of being proudly bi in a culture that often discourages bi-visibility, Howard was openly polyamorous, engaged in both BDSM and sex work, and she organized the first Pride events in New York City. What a freaking badass.

Born Diana Moore, Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart has been called "a backbone of the pagan and Wiccan communities in the U.S." The pagan priestess maintained an open marriage with Oberon Zell, too. In a 1990 article on the subject, Morning Glory had this to say about being poly: "In many ways, polyamorous extended relationships mimic the old multi-generational families before the Industrial Revolution, but they are better because the ties are voluntary and are, by necessity, rooted in honesty, fairness, friendship and mutual interests."

Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart has been credited with popularizing the term "polyamory," and prior to her death, she wrote multiple books about witchcraft with her husband.

Deborah Taj Anapol was a clinical psychologist and one of the founders of the 1980s polyamory movement. In addition to writing Love Without Limits — one of the first books on polyamory — Anapol co-founded the poly magazine, Loving More.

It's not difficult to see why Tilda Swinton has called her non-monogamous marriage to husband and playwright, John Byrne, "just so sane." Swinton travels the world with painter Sandro Kopp, but she shares a home and two children with Byrne. Sounds like Swinton's setup could be the best of both worlds, am I right?

While she's probably most famous for her Academy-Award-winning performance in Precious, Mo'Nique is also known for being super outspoken about her non-monogamous marriage to Sidney Hicks. In an interview with Barbara Walters, Mo'Nique reportedly said, "Could I have sex outside of my marriage with Sidney? Yes. Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal breaker." In that same interview, Mo'Nique also told Walters that she hasn't had sex outside of her marriage to Sidney yet; but extra-marital sex has never been off-limits for either of them.

Interestingly enough, the first time I heard a woman talking about non-monogamy in her relationship, it was Margaret Cho. This bisexual, funny woman has been in an open marriage, and vocal about it, for more than 10 years now.

When the ladies over at "The Real" asked Cho about her open marriage to Al Ridenour, Cho reportedly said: "We got together because ... we both have this [idea], ‘I just don’t want to have sex with the same person my whole life. That’s just gross.’”

OK, so as far as I can tell, Jada has never used the words, "open," "non-monogamous," or "polyamorous" to describe her marriage to Will Smith. What details she has given about their relationship make it seem pretty clear that theirs is not a strictly-monogamous arrangement, though. As the actress told the Huffington Post back in 2013, "Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so." Now that's one solid couple.