Books
Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on the literary classics. I think even the most devout book-lover can agree that just because a book is considered a classic, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's a fun read (I'm looking at you, Nathaniel Hawthorne). But every once in a while, you come across an online review for a celebrated novel that has missed the point by a shocking degree. Here are some of the most delightful, rage-filled, one star reviews for classic books that the internet has to offer.
Now, I'm not suggesting that every reader should love Moby-Dick or have their "book lover" card revoked. It's fine to dislike popular books. But I do think that there's a difference between feeling that a classic book is overrated and leaving a scathing review of a beloved piece of literature. Like the Goodreads user who disliked The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank because "All Anne did was complain." Or the Amazon user who felt that there was "far too much incest" in Oedipus Rex. Or the disappointed reader who felt that The Illustrated Man was "boaring" and stupid, driving home their point by repeatedly typing "I hated it" until they ran out of characters.
Here are a few more gems from the depths of the literary web:
1'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Brontë
Found on Goodreads: "Ugh...just because it was written yonks ago by a depressed girl living on the Yorkshire Moors does not mean that it is good. What makes a classic book: The quality of the writing or the passage of time? I would rather slowly bite poke my eyes out with my Kindle than to read this again. Or to read anything else by ANY of the Bronte sisters."
2'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen
Found on Goodreads: "I really don't get it why the entire female population is so enraptured with this book. Mr Darcy was so unbearably snooty and and the bennett sisters were no better than cows except for elizabeth who was a mad cow."
3'Ulysses' by James Joyce
Found on Amazon: "This is a tough book to read unless you understand several languages and are on LSD. I may have thirty or forty more years to live so maybe I'll get through it."
5'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' by J.K. Rowling
Found on Amazon: "Got it for my grandson to please him, but personally, I DO NOT agree with Harry Potter books. Not for the minds of young people today!"
6'The Handmaid's Tale' by Margaret Atwood
Found on Goodreads: "It was just some ramblings written down by a crazy woman, with some sex in the middle."
7'The Little Prince' by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Found on Goodreads: "Would I get into trouble if I strangled Little Prince and his syrupy philosophy. The flower I have already trampled."
8'Beloved' by Toni Morrison
Found on Goodreads: "You know how your supposed to feel all deep and intelligent after you read classic book. Nope didn't happen."
9'The Great Gatsby' by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Found on Amazon: "Weird plotless story whose main character has no life but to be the gateway to that of others. Everyone cheats on everyone and in the end nobody ends up happy and the audience doesn't even end up with a moral to hold on to and justify they waste of time and money they just spent."
10'A Wrinkle in Time' by Madeleine L'Engle
Found on Goodreads: "The book tried WAY to hard to shove English, Math, Science, Foreign Languages...etc down my throat."
11'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' by Lewis Carroll
Found on Goodreads: "Going into this I knew that it would be weird, I just didn't expect it to be that weird."
12'The Color Purple' by Alice Walker
Found on Goodreads: "Someone previously said this should be titled 'The Color Blue' well I agree. Alice Walker is trying to hard. Honestly she should have been taking care of her daughter, Rebecca Walker, instead of writing this misandrist this book"
13'The Hobbit' by J.R.R. Tolkien
Goodreads: "Biblo use your brain, I don't care if you have to build a plane, blimp, submarine or whatever. But really, don't you have a better way of transportation?"
14'1984' by George Orwell
Found on Amazon: "Attempting to read this book is worse than watching the grass grow. At least the grass will become something you enjoy."
15'Othello' by William Shakespeare
Found on Goodreads: "not shakespeare's finest theatrical production... honestly, the whole plot just didn't make sense. Get your shit together Othello."
16'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens
Found on Goodreads: "Twee, grisly and fawning, the greatest turkey ever told."
17'The Odyssey' by Homer
Found on Goodreads: "He killed innocent people , cheated on his wife, and ate his friends. I believe that says it all about who Odysseus really is."
