Do you have paraskavedekatriaphobia? According to the website HISTORY, this gibberish refers to the fear of the unluckiest day — Friday the 13th. If you answered yes, these spooky Friday the 13th Instagram captions will help you quell your fears by putting them out there in the open, kind of like Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark do every week on their true-crime comedy podcast My Favorite Murder. The idea being that dragging the scary stuff out into the light takes away its power, or at the very least it helps you find others who feel the same.
If Friday the 13th gives you the heebie-jeebies, you're not alone. "Researchers estimate that at least 10 percent of the U.S. population has a fear of the number 13, and each year the even more specific fear of Friday the 13th, known as paraskevidekatriaphobia, results in financial losses in excess of $800 million annually, as people avoid marrying, traveling or in the most severe cases, even working," HISTORY reported.
Of course, if you do have paraskevidekatriaphobia, the eleventy-million Friday the 13th movies where people get killed in the woods (seriously, don't go in the woods, ever), and pretty much everywhere else, certainly do nothing to calm your fears. However, quotes from the Friday the 13th movies do make great Instagram-worthy captions. Sidebar: Can we talk about why no one is able to outrun Jason Voorhees? He walks at the speed of a tired toddler. Answer this question in your Instagram captions, or post these other spooky Friday the 13th captions and quotes to accompany your best doomsday snaps.
1Stay Out Of The Forest
This is good advice, not only for Friday the 13th but for any day of the week. If you've seen the vintage 1980 Friday the 13th movie where Jason Voorhees goes on a killing spree in the forest, then you know that aside from wild animals, the woods also house knife-wielding killers. So, my friendlies: Stay out of the woods because, #FridayThe13th.
2More Advice About The Woods ...
Friday the 13th survival tip: Don't go on a secret weekend trip to a remote cabin at the end of a long driveway off of an unnamed rural road with a murderer. — Reddit
3Very Superstitious, Ladders 'Bout To Fall...
Very superstitious, writings on the wall, very superstitious, ladders 'bout to fall, 13th month old baby, broke the lookin' glass, seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past. — Stevie Wonder, "Superstitious"
4On Friday The 13th Weird Things Are Supposed To Happen ...
On #Fridaythe13th weird things are supposed to happen ... Maybe I'll get in to a relationship. — Unknown
5There's Never Been A Better Time To Join The Dark Side
Dear Jedi,
Today is Friday the 13th, there's never been a better time to join the Dark Side.
Love,
Your Father, Darth Vader
6Happy Friday The 13th Everyone ...
Happy Friday the 13th everyone. May the odds be ever in your favor. — Unknown
7If You Stand In Front Of A Mirror And Say ...
If you stand in front of a mirror and say One Direction five times, they'll come out and haunt you. — Unknown
8Handing Someone A Knife Is Bad Luck...
Friday the 13th survival tip: Handing someone a knife is bad luck. Always put it on the table in front of them never in their hand. — Irish superstition, The Irish Times
9If A Black Cat Crosses Your Path...
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. — Groucho Marx
10 Friday The 13th Is Still Better...
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever. — Unknown
11I'm Not Superstitious...
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little 'stitious. — Michael Scott, The Office
12Protect Yourself From Serial Killers
If you want to let your Instagram followers know how to protect themselves from a serial killer, like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th, WikiHow has your back:
Friday the 13th survival tip: "Don’t ask random people on the street for directions. Go inside a shop and ask a member of staff instead ... Avoid giving directions to unknown people in isolated areas. If they really need directions, they will drive to the nearest service station or call someone on their mobile phone." Seriously, trust no one.
13And For the Win: Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered
This one is from the My Favorite Murder podcast. If you want to laugh at everything creepy to quell your Friday the 13th fears, listen to it right freakin' now. And remember: Stay sexy. Don't get murdered. — Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
