Life
11 Most Common Reasons Young People Aren't In Relationships
There are many reasons why people are single, whether they’re taking a break from dating, focusing more on their career, or just don't want a partner. Plus, there are many perks that come with being single, from developing new interests to getting to know yourself better. However, if you want more details on why Millennials are single, a new survey found out. Comet, a student loan refinancing company, surveyed 364 single employed Millennials without children, and they asked everything from what they would sacrifice for their career to their reasons for being single. For instance, according to Comet, studies show that 59 percent of Millennials are single or have never been married versus only 16 percent of Gen Xers and 10 percent of Baby Boomers. Wow, right?
At some point, everyone is or has been single, and there are many benefits of being single. “You can go and have any experience you want, whenever you want, and not have to worry about what someone else wants,” psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. “This is the time to travel on your own, to take a class just for fun, to do as many activities that you want, as you will not always have the chance to just pick up and do what you feel like. It is not that a partner holds you back, it is that in good relationships, you make decisions as a couple.”
All that said, here’s what Comet found when it came to determining the top 11 reasons why single Millennials are single.
1“I’m Picky”
Fifty-two percent of Millennials said they’re picky, so meanwhile, they’re staying single. With the popularity of dating apps, where the dating choices run the gamut of all types of people, pickiness can definitely play a role if someone’s dating, or lack thereof.
2“I Haven’t Found Someone Or Dated Much”
Fifty percent of Millennial respondents said they’re single because they haven’t found someone or dated much — which may mean tons of singles just aren't interested in dating at all.
3“I Don’t Go Out Enough”
The third most popular reason that Millennials say they are single is because they do not go out enough, but who knows — maybe they don't even want to be going out?
4“I Haven’t Found Someone I Liked Enough To Date”
Comet’s survey found that 45 percent of Millennials say they are single because they haven’t found someone they liked enough to date, which is also a great reason to not get into a relationship.
5“I Am Focusing On My Career”
As far as focusing-on-their-career goes, 40 percent of Millennials said this is why they are single. Reaching your goals and being happy with yourself — in terms of career, hobbies, self-esteem, etc. — is key whether or not you're looking for a relationship.
6“I Have Low Self-Esteem”
Self-esteem can play a big role in dating — not only in how you feel about yourself, but also regarding what type of partners you choose. Comet found that 33 percent of Millennials said they’re single due to having low self-esteem. However, once they build their self-esteem, they may be more into the idea of dating.
7“I Have A Fear Of Intimacy”
Twenty-three percent of respondents said that fear of intimacy was why they’re single. Of course, intimacy means many things, from emotional intimacy to physical intimacy. Naturally, getting close to someone, emotionally and physically, can be a bit scary. “Emotional intimacy is a sense of closeness developed with another person over time,” Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist in Colorado, tells Bustle. “Usually, it involves a feeling of safety and having your inner thoughts and feelings known and accepted. Everyone desires a different level of emotional intimacy based on their attachment experiences growing up and what their ‘normal’ was.”
8“I Just Went Through A Breakup”
After a breakup, the last thing you may want to do is date or get into a relationship, and 17 percent of Millennials stated this as a reason that they’re single.
9“All The Good Ones Are Taken”
Another reason Millennials said they’re single is because some feel like all the good ones are taken — 17 percent thought so. Of course, this is not true — there are billions of people on the planet — but it is true that it may *seem* like all the good ones are taken.
10“I’m Taking A Break From Relationships”
Sixteen percent of Millennials surveyed also said that the reason they’re single is because they’re taking a break from relationships. Doing so *is* healthy, so you get some breathing room and time to figure out what you want in life. It's also a great time to work on personal hobbies and habits that make you happy, as well as see friends more often, friends that may have gone by the wayside when you were with your ex-partner 24/7.
11“I’m Selfish”
Millennials also stated that being selfish was another reason they’re single. Fifteen percent said so, and it makes sense to want to focus on yourself.
As you can see, Comet’s survey revealed a lot of interesting reasons why single millennials are single — and it seems like plenty aren't even interested in dating. Whatever the reason(s) may be, and for however long they choose to be single, there's no denying that being single is incredible opportunity to focus on yourself.
