Joe loves wine. In particular, Joe loves delicious but incredibly affordable wine, and the store has perfected the art of offering cheap-o vino; but wait — it gets better. Depending on where you live and the laws there, your location might have a whole designated wine and beer tasting area, like a couple locations in the Bay Area do.

Even if the locations in your neighborhood don't have entire sampling areas, they might still have wine tastings, like some Joe's in Las Vegas do. Vegas, baby!

Free samples, for the win.

You know how you're not supposed to go grocery shopping hungry because you'll end up buying a bunch of stuff you don't need? In the case of Trader Joe's, go hungry. Joe is a generous guy, and he'll let you sample anything in the store, including alcohol (depending on local laws)! Now, don't take advantage of him; just know that if you're not convinced Cookie Butter is for you (it is), ask a friendly team member to crack open a jar so you can have a little nibble.

P.S. Here's a little known secret: If you head over around closing time, the staff will be trying to get rid of everything that was opened for sampling and never finished, meaning more snacks for you!

Is it a flyer? Is it a newsletter? Is it a comic book? The Fearless Flyer is that and more. It's available online and in print eight times a year, and I can confirm it makes excellent bathroom reading material. It offers a shopping list, seasonal and featured products, and cartoons. Forget all the other crummy newsletters that clog your inbox and you always end up unsubscribing from. This one is really special — promise.

Don't take this perk lightly, friends. There's a reason why Trader Joe's doesn't have sales and discounts: it's because he already offers the cheapest possible prices, all day, every day.

No receipt needed, no questions asked. If you want to return something, return it for a full refund, plain and simple. Maybe the Mandarin chicken wasn't your jam. Maybe the apple you bought has a giant bruise on it. Joe just wants you to be happy, so you can bring your item to the front counter and return it without any employees giving you the side-eye. They won't even ask for an explanation.

Have you ever wondered why all of the registers have bells on them? Of course you have. Instead of someone blabbing on the PA and ruining your Joe's shopping trip, employees communicate with the bells. One ring means they need another register open, two means the cashier needs assistance, three means a manager is needed for something important.

Every location has a stuffed animal hiding somewhere, and it's the kids' job to walk around and look for it. If they do, they get a treat. Also, your life will be about four kajillion times better because you won't have to shop with screaming children.

Don't you hate when you're at a store and can't find a single soul to answer your questions? That'll never happen at Joe's, because they overstaff their stores so that there are always plenty of people around to help. Customer service comes first; so you'll never spend time wandering around looking for an employee, or trying to get a guy's attention while he's busy stickering products in the dairy section.

When we say everything, we mean eight out of 10 products. This helps keep costs low, because Joe buys directly from suppliers whenever possible, and that eliminates certain fees. In other words, you get a better deal.

Check with your location first to make sure they participate; but at many locations, if you use your own shopping bag and spend at least $25, they'll enter you into their weekly raffle for a change to win a $25 gift card! Low prices and regular raffles? Sign. Me. Up.