Little Jane had a rough childhood. She was an orphan in the care of cruel relatives, she was bullied by her cousin, and she was punished for not being happy enough. Seriously, the book opens with little kid Jane in trouble for failing to smile and prance around like children are "supposed to do." It's a baby version of the creepy guy on the street saying, "Smile, sweetheart." But Jane refuses to repress her own emotions as a kid, and even as an adult she doesn't let others dictate how she's "supposed" to feel.

It's not that Jane was secretly beautiful the whole time, and just needed a man to come along and tell her so. She's plain. She's not hideous, but she's not a ravishing beauty. And she's fine with that. Rochester isn't that handsome, either (despite his Hollywood portrayal). Jane and Rochester's love isn't based on looks at all, it's a far deeper connection than that. Clearly, Brontë wanted to give an enormous middle finger to Victorian standards of beauty.

I mean, that's just a good lesson for everyone, always. Don't lock anyone in the attic. I know that the Victorians weren't stellar at managing mental health... but I still feel like there was a better way to deal with this. At least, if you do find out that your fiancé keeps his exes captive in his home, pull a Jane and skip town at once.

Even without the whole attic-wife debacle, Jane and Rochester couldn't really be together until they were equals. She needed to quit working for him, strike out on her own, run a school house, and be satisfied with herself as a separate person before getting hitched. Or, as Jane puts it, "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

If you want something, say so. Don't sit silently waiting for life to fix everything on its own. Confess your feelings to your crush, ask for that raise, and don't let injustice go unspoken. And never be afraid to defend yourself from jerks: “I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.”

Don't get married and become a force for colonization just because it seems like the easiest thing to do. Hold out for a partner who views you as an equal, rather than your weird cousin named St. John who thinks you'd make a solid missionary's wife.

Too often, we feel trapped in a certain place or routine or relationship. We convince ourselves that we have no power in choosing the direction of our own lives. But Jane is here to remind everyone that the world is full of possibilities, if you can only summon the courage to pursue them: “I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had the courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.”

In an era when dignity was everything, Charlotte Brontë just comes right out and says, “I would always rather be happy than dignified.” It takes Jane a while to start valuing her own happiness, but it turns out that denying yourself happiness in order to fit into society's "dignified" box isn't helping anyone. If people judge you for the things that make you happy, you're better off without them. After all, "normal" is not necessarily better. Or, as Brontë puts it, “Conventionality is not morality.”

Like any Gothic heroine, Jane has her fantasies and her strong, sweeping emotions. But she's also quick to keep her feet on the ground, set reasonable goals and expectations, and shut down anyone who tries to put her on a pedestal: “I am not an angel,' I asserted; 'and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself. Mr. Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me — for you will not get it, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate.”

If there is any one lesson to learn from Jane Eyre, this is it. The romance stuff is thrilling, but Jane can't settle down with anyone until she truly learns to respect and love herself fiercely: “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”