Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: When will I meet someone?
A: Scrolling on dating apps gets old quick, especially when you find yourself in an endless loop of conversations that are not only boring, but also lead nowhere. What’s worse, though, is getting your hopes up as you head out for what feels like a promising date.
If you get to the point where you’re actually meeting someone for dinner or drinks, it’s hard not to spin an entire fairytale in your head. “What if this is the one?” you might think as you run to catch the subway. “No, but really, what if this is THE ONE!?” you might repeat multiple times in all of your group chats. If you find yourself heading home disappointed an hour later, just know it’s a tale as old as time.
Looking for a partner requires a tremendous amount of time and energy, as well as a strong will to continue on even in the face of disappointment. Your fingers probably ache from scrolling and your chest is likely heavy with the burden of another failed talking stage, but here’s the thing: even if you devote all of your downtime to searching, it still doesn’t guarantee you’ll meet someone.
When Will You Meet Someone?
Sometimes dating is a numbers game, meaning the more you put yourself out there the more likely you are to meet someone. Most of the time, though, it seems to come down to sheer, dumb luck.
Many people in relationships were simply in the right place at the right time when they met their beloved, and that means they didn’t necessarily work harder or do anything special to attract love. They were simply at a frat party, or in a coffee shop, or on Bumble at the right moment.
While comforting, in a way, this news also sucks because it’d be really nice if there were some sort of formula to follow to find love. If you did this and then that, you’d have a partner by summer — but it sadly doesn’t work that way.
The Queen of Pentacles suggests the closest you can get to rigging the game is by simply continuing to live your life. Keep going on dates, let friends know you’re looking, and take a practical approach to swiping.
How Can I Increase My Luck?
The Hermit may seem like a hilariously cruel card to get for this question, but it’s actually super enlightening. It points to a phase of introspection and self-reflection, which could be a sign to pull back and spend more time with yourself.
If you’re striking out left and right, it suggests you need a quick break to not only relieve yourself of the intense stress that bubbles up every time you glance at Hinge, but also to reassess what it is you’re looking for in a partner.
If you’ve only been talking to a one type of person, maybe it’s time to switch things up. If you only try to meet people at the gym, maybe you need to change your venue. Give yourself a month to mull it over — or even the rest of spring. Turn inward, like The Hermit, and see what kinds of revelations you have.
You might come out the other side with a totally fresh perspective, and a little more luck.
For more, check out your horoscope.
