Help! My Office Personality Needs A Rebrand.

When Tiffany Cheng first moved to Brussels, Belgium, to serve as the global communications director at Volvo, she kept her head down, did her work, and tried not to make waves. But while Cheng, 40, got stellar performance reviews and glowing feedback from colleagues, she watched for years as her co-workers moved up the ladder. She remained stuck in the same role — too timid, she says, to ask for a promotion.

Eventually, Cheng’s manager gave her some advice: To grow at the company, she’d need a network of supporters — connections she’d only earn if she broke out of her shell.

So Cheng decided to make a change. She forced herself to ask questions during meetings. On work trips, though she usually dined alone in her room, she pushed herself to eat breakfast with her teammates. In the mornings, she journaled about what her future career would look like, and at night, she catalogued what she’d accomplished that day.

It worked. By the end of the year, Cheng had been promoted to vice president of corporate communications in Asia — the job she’d dreamed of for years. Even better, she no longer felt awkward at team dinners or on long car rides with the CEO. “I started to be comfortable,” she says. “This became the new me.”

She learned a difficult truth: When it comes to success, your reputation matters — not just your achievements. If you’re getting passed over for raises, interrupted in meetings, or known as the office gossip, it’s possible you, too, could use a rebrand.

Experts say an image makeover isn’t as hard as you’d think — and you don’t have to overhaul your entire personality in the process.

What’s Not Working? Ask Around.

The first step in making a change is receiving feedback from trusted sources. Nik Pollina, a 30-year-old from New York, got that unexpectedly. When she landed her first job in a coveted technology leadership program at General Electric in 2016, she hesitated to speak up in meetings, worried that she didn’t know enough to share her opinion — until a more senior employee told her to knock it off.

“She was like, ‘Honestly, you’re really smart. You know what you’re doing. But you literally don’t talk in the meetings, so we had no idea. No one’s ever going to know that if you continue on this path of being really shy.’”

The comment was jarring, but it wound up making a huge difference. Pollina started pushing herself to speak up, which increased her confidence and ultimately boosted her reputation. A little more than a year later, she landed a job as a user experience consultant at Google. The role required leading large workshops and talking with top executives. “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten that job if I came off as shy,” she says with a laugh.

Still, experts warn not to make panicked, drastic changes after receiving negative feedback. Executive coach Meg Myers Morgan urges her clients to stop and assess the source of the criticism and if it aligns with their goals and values. (Women are often asked to do more in the workplace than their male peers, she notes, and bosses’ and co-workers’ priorities often suit their needs, not yours.) Then — and only then — should you consider making a change.

“Build a true north for yourself,” Morgan advises. “What do you want to be? What do you value? What are you hoping for? Because otherwise, you’re just walking through life and letting others’ perceptions guide who you are.”

The core of her workplace glow-up was not acting like someone different, she says, but finding a slightly elevated version of herself.

Some people may experience the opposite problem, feeling like they’re floundering with zero guidance. In that case, says Tanya Uyigue, a career leadership coach in Chicago, it’s OK to “flat-out ask” a manager for feedback on your performance. If you don’t feel comfortable doing so or don’t believe they’ll give you the right advice, turn to a trusted colleague, friend, or even a career coach. “If you’re willing to be up-front and honest with them about [how you behave in the workplace],” she says, you can gain useful insights.

It’s Time To Change

Once you’ve identified what you’d like to change, the next step is modifying your behavior. Susannah Margison, a career conflict coach, recommends clients write three words on a Post-it note to describe how they’d like to show up in the office. That way, when you’re faced with a situation in which you might fall into an old habit, you’re reminded of how you’ve decided to act instead.

Consider adjusting your schedule or environment to better suit the new you, says Gretchen Rubin, an expert on habits. Maybe you’re known as the office grouch because you’re simply not a morning person. Can you rearrange your meetings to be later in the day? “A lot of this is self-knowledge,” she says.

Alex Schudy, a marketing manager in San Francisco, employed a slightly more drastic technique. She struggled with working well under pressure, she says, so she created a fictional “professional persona” who excelled at just that. She imbued the character with the traits she desired — confidence, decisiveness, and poise — and even gave it a nickname and a backstory. When she went into high-pressure meetings, she pictured a curtain coming down in front of her, then rising up to reveal her avatar. “I kept doing it until [it was] no longer even a persona,” she says. “[It] was just me.”

The reality is that change doesn’t always come easily, especially if that perception is fueled by the people you surround yourself with at work. Uyigue says that making a lasting change may require cutting out co-workers who encourage bad behaviors (like gossiping about your colleagues or overindulging at office happy hour). “You have to be first and foremost focused on your goals,” she says. “And if the people that you’re engaged with in the workplace are not helping, they’re holding you back.”

That doesn’t necessarily mean you should formally cut off your work besties, she adds, which may cause more conflict than it cures. But as you evolve, they might slowly drift away. “Misery loves company,” she says. “[Those co-workers] will go to people who will feed into them. If you’re not doing it, they might just get bored of you.”

Margison, who often works with clients who have suffered serious blows to their reputations, says certain shifts may require looking at your life outside of work, too. One of her clients suffered a major hit at work after she had an affair with someone in her industry, Margison says. She urged the woman to explore how she’d arrived in this situation in the first place. Per Margison, she wound up realizing that feeling unsupported by her social circle had led her to the self-destructive relationship.

Don’t Stray Too Far

There’s no sense in pretending to be someone you’re not if it only winds up making you miserable, experts say. Before you decide to make a personality shift to get ahead, Morgan advises you to consider if that goal makes sense for you in the first place. “Have you thought about what it’s going to feel like once you get there?” she says.

Cheng agrees. The core of her workplace glow-up was not acting like someone different, she says, but finding a slightly elevated version of herself. Ironically, her journey taught her to lean into the traits that had previously made her feel nervous or out of place.

“I’m still not the most outspoken person in the room, but I changed that into ‘I can be the best listener in this room; I can be the person who asks the best question,’” she says. “Sometimes your biggest weakness can actually be your advantage.”

Experts:

Meg Myers Morgan, executive coach

Susannah Margison, career coach

Gretchen Rubin, expert on habits

Tanya Uyigue, career coach