TikToker Delaney Rowe Doesn’t Mind A DM Slide

In Bustle’s series Shooting Your Shot, single influencers weigh in on drinking and dating: their go-to beverages, their memorable date stories, and more.

Delaney Rowe thinks calling herself bicoastal is cringe, even if that’s exactly the lifestyle she’s currently living. The 29-year-old recently got a place in New York City and splits her time between the Big Apple and Los Angeles. “It felt sort of like a noncommittal way to move to New York, keeping my place [in LA],” she says. “Somebody said to me the other day, ‘If you're splitting time in both places, you kind of don't have a life in either place.’ And I'm like, that might be true when it comes to [my] dating [life], anyway.”

Rowe, who grew up in Idaho, started posting bits on TikTok in 2020 and has amassed 2.7 million followers on the app. She’s always dreamed of being an actor but was working as a private chef in LA before posting online. On her accounts, she’s known for her hyperbolic reenactments of movie tropes — think “girl in every movie who’s ‘good with cars’” or “insufferable female lead of an indie movie.” While her online presence is all a performance, she does think her digital footprint has inevitably impacted her dating life.

“I get roasted and negged a lot by men because that’s what they think I want. To any man reading this right now, I'm telling you that is not what I want,” she says. “I can't tell you how many times I've been talking to a guy and I'll be speaking normally and then they'll stop me and be like, ‘Wait, are you doing a character right now?’ And I'm like, ‘No, I do have a personality that exists outside the stuff that I put out online.’”

Still, though Rowe is not on the apps and rarely will go up to someone at a bar (she loves a DM slide or being set up by friends), she’s having fun dating in both cities. That is, as long as they stick to getting drinks on the first date. “I think a guy coming in with a really creative date idea for whatever reason is a deterrent for me,” she says. “If you suggest going to get ice cream, a hike, or doing anything in the daytime, it's not going to work. I don’t want to hang out with you until at least 5 p.m.”

Below, the content creator shares a memorable date story, the drink order that gives her the ick, and how to walk into a date with confidence.

How does going out in Los Angeles and New York differ from one another?

In New York, I feel like every night is full speed towards a brick wall with cigarettes and martinis and people you want to see and people you don't want to see and avoiding this person but getting so excited when you run into that person. It's like a fun, hellish maze.

In LA, I'm a little cozier. I drink less, I sleep more. I see fewer people. This city is sort of like a moment of solitude and wellness for me.

What’s your go-to drink on a first date?

I can go on a date thinking I'm going to have a glass of orange wine and then I get there and he orders a dry gin martini. Then I'm like, “Actually, yeah, now I want that too. You're fun. You're being fun. I want to be fun!”

Is there a drink order on a date that would be an immediate turn-off?

I don't like when somebody orders the exact same thing as me because I can tell they're panicking and they don't know what to order. Where's your agency? You're a 32-year-old man. Why don't you have a drink that you like yet?

Or one time this guy was like, "Oh, I'll just have a glass of the house red." There’s something weird about that. Choose the glass you're going to have, please.

What’s your advice for someone who wants to show up as their best self on a date?

I like to have a drink before a date to loosen things up. Also, going on a date after you've come from something with friends is nice because you[‘ve] sort of shaken up your personality like a packet of vitamin C at the bottom of a water bottle.

Has drinking on a first date ever led to any memorable stories?

I was at SUGARFISH and had maybe three beers and I was wearing a white skirt. Side note, he wasn't drinking, which is OK, that's not a no for me, but he was wearing a pearl necklace, so that was the main issue. But I got up and I had my period and bled through my skirt. It didn’t embarrass me much because I didn't like this person that much anyway.

But then later, he was like, "Look, I get it. You're really embarrassed about what happened.” And I didn't respond because I didn't want to be like, "No, king, you were not fun. I don't care that I had my period on a date. You just sucked." He wishes that I were embarrassed!

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.