5 Ways To Support Your Bestie’s Motherhood Journey *After* The Newborn Phase

I’ve had the same best friend since elementary school. We met on the first day of fifth grade, and that was that. BFFs. Our lives followed similar paths until college, when I took a few years to continue acting like an idiot, and she got married and immediately had a baby.

Her baby is now a member of the US military. My baby is not quite potty trained. To say we followed different timelines is an understatement.

Why am I telling you this? Because your friend had a baby not too long ago, and you still want to relate to her and be there for her like you always have, but a huge part of her life is a mystery to you.

You’re just not exactly sure what to do now that her baby is chubby and crawling and your bestie seems pretty much human again. You know your support and friendship are still vital to her, but offering to hold her baby so she can take a nap doesn’t seem like the move anymore.

Plus, good luck just quietly holding that baby. Mobile babies are BUSY.

As a current mom and former single gal pal, I have good news: You don’t have to babysit or change dirty diapers. There are a bunch of other ways to keep your friendship solid and make life easier for your friend.

1. Spend time just being next to her while she does boring domestic stuff.

She probably doesn’t need as much help as she did in the beginning, but she still has a lot to do, so just hang out and help her do it. Spend a Saturday morning helping her fold and hang tiny clothes. Offer to wash her dishes while she dries so you can chat and be productive at the same time. See if you can run a quick errand on the way over, or offer to ride along while she runs her errands. You can wait in the car if the baby falls asleep, and those 10 minutes alone in the store grabbing a box of Huggies Little Movers and a can of formula will be a breath of fresh air for her.

2. Get to know her baby when that new baby smell has worn off.

Everyone loves a newly-minted human, but not everyone sticks around. Greet the baby like you would any other person you’re happy to see. Learn their little personality. Take a selfie with the tiny nugget and send it to the group chat. Want to really wow her? Note the baby’s birthday and sign up on a baby website for weekly emails about what milestones they might be reaching. Also: this is the perfect way to collect intel if you’re considering motherhood yourself.

3. Grab a pack of diapers.

Do you show your love by giving gifts? Show up with diapers. Trust me: Your cute presents mean a lot to her. Her baby absolutely did need that tiny onesie that says, “If you think I’m cute, you should see my aunt.” But now she needs one thing: diapers. When in doubt, choose Huggies Little Movers. Huggies is the #1 best fitting diaper* with a curved and stretchy fit. It fits all the cute baby butts, so they’re a safe bet.

Bonus points if you grab her a coffee, too.

4. If she has a partner, coordinate with them to create a little time away for your friend.

As soon as she starts to mention wanting some time to herself, make it happen. Assemble the girl gang and get her out of the house. Coffee. Drinks. Dinner. Paddleboard yoga. Whatever. Just make it happen.

5. Keep including her in your life.

She’s a mom, but she’s still everything else she’s always been. She still wants to know about all the non-mom things she cared about before. Keep sharing stories about your annoying coworker who microwaves fish for breakfast. Give her the same steamy date details you always have. She might not have as much free time as she used to, but never assume she only wants to talk about her baby. (She really, really doesn’t.)

When the first friend in the group starts stockpiling Huggies while the rest of you are still living the Plant Mom life, the gap can feel like a chasm. It doesn’t have to be that way! All you have to do is show your mom friend you care. The best part? If you invest your time and energy into your friend, her baby will love you just as much as you love them. And what could be more special than a BOGO bestie?

*Wet fit, among branded open diapers