How Men Feel After A One-Night Stand

While some people love one-night stands, they’re certainly not for everyone. I figured I’d ask: How do men feel after a one-night stand? It’s a much less talked about and stigmatized subject for men — probably because it’s assumed that, as women are believed to be victims of these circumstances, men emerge the victors in this horizontal standoff. But just like not all women feel guilty after them, not all men love them. And, as you’ll witness, while some men do feel this way, others aren’t so proud.

This more gender-neutral transition comes courtesy of many noble movements, and a recent, influential one was when famed feminist Amber Rose released a viral video on the subject, coining the dated phrase “walk of shame” to the more positive “walk of NO shame” (though I personally prefer the lyrical “stride of pride” — it just sounds better).

It might not have been the most eloquent way of going about things, but Rose is famous, and when fame flirts with a respected cause, the outcome is exemplified tenfold, creating an impact. I asked 14 men on international dating website toyboywarehouse.com how they feel after one-night stands and here’s what they said.

1. Steve, 25

After a ONS, I usually have mixed feelings. I wouldn’t say shame is part of it, but there is an empty feeling along with the enjoyment of the experience. It’s tough to explain. Maybe I’m just weird, but sex simply isn’t as good in retrospect without an emotional connection and that doesn’t happen in one night. – Steve, 35

2. Dan, 35

I’ve had many one-night stands and it’s absolutely wonderful. It truly is the greatest feeling in the world, and there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I think for me (and I think most men would agree), it’s the ultimate compliment. The fact that a woman was attracted enough to you to want to spend the night with you and have sex with you is truly a great feeling!

3. Robert, 65

How do I feel after a one-night stand? Kind of like “Well, that was a nice way to spend an evening. Too bad I can’t have more. We should do this again sometime.”

4. Jake, 28

Since a lot of women can feel guilty after a one-night stand, I take it as a compliment that she found me attractive enough to take me back to her place even though she may possibly regret it in the morning.

5. Jacob, 28

It depends on who’s [sic] place you’re at and who leaves first. Leaving first often makes you feel like you’ve got the upper hand which can sometimes make the whole thing a little more enjoyable.

6. Stan, 28

I’m not that much of a fan to be honest, sometimes after a night out I end up having one, but I prefer dating someone. I’ve known some girls who are reluctant to date me or my friends just because they’re not sure if we just want a one-night stand, which is unfortunate.

7. Carl, 19

I’ve never had one, I’m not against the idea, though.

8. Peter, 30

I normally feel guilty, especially if the girl doesn’t know I only wanted it to be a one-night stand. But that’s the same for both genders, I’ve been in plenty of situations where the girl doesn’t want to see me again after having sex.

9. Jeff, 21

They’re fun. It’s a lot easier when both of you just want a bit of fun and nothing serious.

10. Tim, 29

I haven’t had a one-night stand before. I don’t have anything against people who do, it’s just not for me.

11. Mike, 33

I don’t think one-night stands are that big of a deal, it’s like when you stop seeing someone after a first date or the first time you kiss. Most one-night stands are probably just people not wanting to see someone because it isn’t going to work out.

12. Gareth, 28

I love them. To be fair, I’m young and they’re just a lot of fun. You both know what you’re getting into most of the time, so nobody’s getting hurt. I’ve had some moments where the girl gets a bit clingy after a one-night stand, that’s the part I don’t like, lol.

13. John, 23

I don’t like them and when they happen it’s just a bit sad, especially if I like the girl. I think girls want one-night stands just as much as guys, maybe they gloat about it less or there’s a stereotype for guys to like it more.

14. Graham, 31

There’s been some one-night stands after using dating site like Tinder, etc. I’ve enjoyed them, but I don’t think I’ll be doing it forever. In the moment it’s really fun and you feel connected to that person but the next morning is just awkward, really. I’m guilty of walking out before the other person has woke [sic] up. On the occasions I haven’t, it’s just some general chit-chat about the weather while you’re both naked, and then you see yourself out.

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle