I Watched The Golden Bachelor With My Mother-In-Law & She Had *Thoughts*

It’s 8 p.m. on a Thursday in the Philadelphia suburbs, and my mother-in-law, Kathy, fumbles with the Roku remote and argues with my father-in-law about how to exit the TV guide. At my request — nay, urging — Kathy, [age redacted], is getting ready to watch The Golden Bachelor, the Bachelor franchise’s senior citizen spinoff.

Amid the remote control chaos, we miss the first segment about lead Gerry Turner, a widower looking for his next great love story. As Kathy sips her sauvignon blanc, she asks if he’s wearing a hearing aid, and I confirm. “So he’s like a real 72-year-old,” Kathy notes, with the TV blaring. Like Gerry, my mother-in-law wears hearing aids.

Kathy has never seen a dating reality show. She’s a retired guidance counselor who prefers reading romance novels, participating in her church’s congregation, and spending time with her son and adoring daughter-in-law. Usually, she finds these types of shows “hysterical and totally fake,” but she agreed to watch the premiere with me since she thought it would be fun. Perhaps with contestants closer to her age, I thought, she would be interested in following Gerry’s journey.

Before the limos arrived, I enthusiastically asked her what she thought so far. “It’s not that hyped up yet,” Kathy sighed. But don’t fret! Between the vaudevillian entrances and the emotional first rose ceremony, my mother-in-law had something to say about the new reality show that has everyone hooked.

A Mixed Bag Of Gags

The franchise is well-known for the contestants’ gimmicky introductions, and The Golden Bachelor didn’t fall short of that expectation. The first woman to meet Gerry was Edith Aguirre, and her confetti entrance earned an underwhelmed thumbs-down from Kathy.

Theresa Nist’s birthday suit joke caused my mother-in-law to scoff and call the gag “distasteful,” while Leslie’s costume as an “old lady” complete with a walker and an over-the-top wig did elicit some chuckles.

The introductions showcasing the women’s personalities won over Kathy, who shared some wisdom: “By the time you reach your 60s or 70s, you’re selling yourself short if you’re trying to do more with your bodies and not who you are.”

All Hail Aunt Chippy

One (fake) contestant did catch her attention: Jimmy Kimmel’s Aunt Concetta. “She looks like one of the real people,” Kathy said. (Whatever that means?!) She laughed at her jokes as she met Gerry and headed inside the Bachelor Mansion. (One thing we could agree on is: Aunt Chippy for Golden Bachelorette!)

Perhaps the premiere’s peak moment for Kathy was seeing Aunt Chippy nap during the cocktail party and miss the rose ceremony — a relatable queen.

They’re All Gonna Marry Gerry?

Once all the women arrived at the mansion, Kathy suddenly realized what the show was all about: marrying Gerry in unrealistic circumstances and an accelerated timeline.

“They haven’t met him before, so why on Earth do they think that he’s somebody they want to marry?” she shouted into the void.

Kathy found it borderline disingenuous that all the women were immediately enamored with Gerry as they mingled and courted him during the cocktail party.

“That’s what’s so stupid about the whole concept,” she said. “You don’t fall in love with somebody and get married in however long this show takes.” (Reader, it was filmed in four weeks.)

She continued, “Why on Earth would they say I want to marry you if I don’t even know you?” Wait until I tell her about Bachelor in Paradise, but I digress.

The Golden Bachelor Isn’t *It*

Despite giving it a chance, my mother-in-law wasn’t sold on The Golden Bachelor, and remains adamant about it not being the right way to find love. “The whole thing’s so fake. That’s not the way you meet people,” Kathy argued. “Why would you want to make out with someone who’s making out with 25 more people?”

You can’t blame her when the franchise doesn’t have the best track record for long-lasting relationships. However, when I asked if she was tuning in for the second episode, she said, “I won’t watch, so you’ll have to tell me if he finds his new love.”

Without realizing it, she became invested enough to care where Gerry’s journey takes him. Many casual Bachelor Nation fans are the same, tuning in for the premiere and revisiting closer to the end — just to see who gets engaged and if any wild moments become part of Bachelor Nation canon. So, Kathy may tune in for the finale, but only to keep up with what everyone I keep talking about.

As for what she would prefer to do on Thursday nights at 8 p.m. in the meantime? “I’d rather read my book.”