Steve Is Now The Hottest Man In The SATC-Verse

For those of us who watch Sex and the City, identifying the girl you correspond to is an important rite of self-knowledge (Carrie, with a Miranda rising here). But perhaps the more incisive — and dare I say, honest — reflection of one’s personality is which SATC man you like the best. Are you all about Big (flashy, romantic)? Aidan (down-to-earth, outdoorsy)? Smith (sexy, artistic, free-spirited)? Harry (domestic, funny)? (In spite of myself, I was always a defender of Berger. A literary writer with a mean streak? Catnip.)

But heading into the heart of Season 2 of And Just Like That…, I have reached a startling conclusion. One brief scene in Episode 4 is all I needed to reevaluate my years-long ranking system. We have a new frontrunner for the hottest guy in the SATC-verse, and he is none other than Brooklyn bartender with a heart of gold Steve Brady, played by David Eigenberg.

You know which scene I’m talking about, right? Did you see him boxing in his room? Shirtless? While Miranda was off chuckling her heart out to Che’s incredibly fresh “nobody walks in LA” standup material, Steve was back in Brooklyn, getting buff like he was gearing up to fight Ivan Drago.

Has Steve always been this hot? And is he now the best male partner on AJLT? It’s worth an investigation. Miranda was always judgmental and defensive, and when we met Steve, it was through her arguably over-critical eyes. So an impartial list of pros and cons seems the best evaluative tool at our disposal.

The Pros:

• He’s incredibly hot (see: boxing).
• He has been doing the tiny-glasses thing for decades, long before anyone even heard of Bella Hadid.
• He bought a Brooklyn brownstone before it became the thing to do, and now he owns a Brooklyn brownstone. A property owner in New York City?!
• He’s good at sex. Remember how he served Miranda two orgasms “straight up” when they met?
• He’s loyal and committed to marriage. (Is his cheating in the Sex and the City movie part of the show’s canon? Questionable. But if it is: It was a one-time thing, and he came clean about it — the best possible behavior following a sh*tty mistake.)
• He has a cute Brooklyn accent.
• He owns his own business.
• He’s a great dad.
• He’s nice to Miranda even when she does not deserve it. Remember how she treated him like a one-night stand when he clearly wanted to date her? I cringe when I think about the time Steve wanted to meet her friends, and she treated him like hired help! We get it, Miranda, you went to Harvard, and he was a lowly bartender. Yet all Steve ever did was adore her.

The Cons:

• He cheated on Miranda, which is possibly part of the show’s canon.
• His Brooklyn accent is a little annoying. (Muh-raaaan-deh.)
• End of list.

While I have always liked Harry, AJLT has relegated his character into dorky dad territory. We’re left with a clear answer about the best man in SATC — the pros and cons list does not lie.

But Dana, you might be forgetting: Aidan is coming back! Surely he, a co-owner of their bar, Scout, can challenge Steve for male superiority.

Here is my true confession, bravely offered to the judgment of the internet: I never really went in for Aidan. I’m not blind; I get the golden-retriever, good-around-the-house appeal of him, a guy who can make a table out of a tree and knows how to start a fire. But he always struck me as a little annoying. Whiny. Needy. An all-American, furniture-making drip with a passive-aggressive streak.

I feel like if I was sitting out on a patio drinking wine, and I wanted to be a little bitchy and make a comment about someone wearing an ugly dress to a party, Aidan would sigh and say something like, “Aw, I didn’t think the dress was that bad. Besides, do we really need to judge people for their clothes? I care more about their character.” OK, Mother Theresa. Point made, but mood ruined, and now I feel like a bad person. If I were with Steve, he would laugh with me and then probably get the bartender to send over a free round because he knew him from back in the day.

Steve is the full package: a hot, committed Brooklyn property owner whose sin in Miranda’s eyes was what? Wanting to hang out and order-in food and watch TV? Sounds like a dream. Sign me up. Keep your Che, Miranda. I’ll take Steve.