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The 40 Best Reads From Drag Race Season 14’s Final 5 & Eliminated Queens
Because reading is what? Fundamental!
In most reality shows, when someone says something nasty to a castmate or makes fun of another contestant, a fight ensues. When it comes to RuPaul’s Drag Race, however, insults are part of the game. “Reading” others is part of the fabric of the show, and the best drag queens make sure the verbal jabs are frequent and cut deep. Usually, everyone’s in on the joke, so it’s all in good fun.
Here are the 50 best reads — including 17 shady ones from finalists Angeria, Bosco, Daya Betty, Lady Camden, and Willow Pill — from Season 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Angeria Paris VanMichaels’ Reads
1. Angeria to Lady Camden in the Reading Challenge: “Lady Cameltoe. Next time you want to be masculine on the runway, leave the mustache at home. Your jawline is enough.”
2. DeJa Skye deciding who to play for Snatch Game: “Maybe I can save [Dance Mom’s] Abby Lee for All Stars..” / Angeria: “...because you’re definitely gonna have to come back.”
3. Angeria to DeJa: “It’s not that the joke’s not funny, I mean, I’m just kinda not laughing. Then I guess that means the joke wasn’t funny. But, yeah, the joke wasn’t funny.”
Bosco’s Reads
4. Bosco in The Roast of Ross Mathews: “I’ve been told to go home more times than Ross at White Party. I’ve been told to go home more times than Michelle [Visage] every time she visits the UK. I’ve been told to go home more times than RuPaul when she tells her record company she has a new song.”
5. Bosco to everyone in the Reading Challenge: “And finally, I was walking around backstage and I actually found RuPaul’s will. You have some really weird criteria in there. She wanted to be buried on the catwalk, and she wanted all of you to be her pallbearers. That way you can let her down on the runway one last time.”
6. Bosco about DeJa’s Greek goddess ensemble: “I find DeJa’s look to be…whelming?”
Daya Betty’s Reads
7. Daya to Jasmine Kennedie, who came out as trans on the show, during an Untucked episode: “I have been honest, b*tch. That’s your body, whatever. But I wasn’t shading you on that. I was just shading you because your outfit was bad.”
8. Daya Betty after Jorgeous won the Design Challenge: “I am very proud of you Jorgeous. That is the sexiest napkin I’ve ever seen you in.”
9. Jasmine: “Oh! I knocked over someone’s powder. I’ll buy you a new one.” / Daya: “With what? Win money? No.”
Lady Camden’s Reads
10. Lady Camden in The Roast of Ross Mathews: “Michelle actually translates to ‘beautiful’ and Visage translates to ‘just kidding.’”
11. Lady Camden: “Knock knock.” / Judges: “Who’s there?” / Lady Camden: “I don’t know, but Michelle’s a whore.”
12. Lady Camden: “The Muppets are here! A bunch of ugly monsters that only come to life when there’s a hand up their ass.”
Willow Pill’s Reads
13. Willow Pill in The Roast of Ross Mathews: “I think what I love most about the cast is the diversity. We have Bosco, who looks like the child of Kurt [Cobain] and Courtney [Love]. Daya, who looks like the child of Ozzy and Sharon [Osbourne]. And we have Camden, who looks like the child of a brother and sister.”
14. Willow Pill about Maddy Morphosis during the Design Challenge: “Maddy’s look, although it’s sewed well, it just looks very Colonel Sanders.”
15. Willow Pill about Daya’s jokes: “Daya’s taking so long to get to every punchline. It’s like, not only was it not funny, but you wasted my time.”
16. Willow Pill about Jorgeous during the mini challage with giant paintbrushes: “Jorgeous with this ginormous brush looks like a little hamster in a cartoon…”
17. Willow Pill about Jorgeous while deciding the roast order: “It’s a little shady, but I would like to go after Jorgeous because I feel the least confident in her set. But she could blow us away, I have no idea. I mean, we’ll see, uh, mmm, well, I don’t know.”
The Best Reads From Eliminated Queens
18. Kornbread: “So what kind of drag do you do? Are you a performer? Dancer?”/ Alyssa Hunter: “I do everything. I’m a versatile queen.” / Kornbread: “Let me tell you. When people be like, they like to do everything, they cut to them not doing everything.”
19. Jorgeous: “My first impression of Maddy is very … I want to see what else you got.”
20. Alyssa Hunter about Bosco’s entrance look: “Bosco looks like an angry Minnie Mouse.”
21. Jasmine: “How crazy would it be if they did two balls because they did so many but they wanna do a different material or something later?” / Kerri Colby: “How crazy would it be if you learned how to be quiet?”
22. Kerri in the Reading Challenge: “Miss Jasmine Mouth Almighty. You know, I am so glad that on this journey, you have found…your silence.”
23. Jasmine: “What’s your type of drag?” / Lady Camden: “I’m sort of like the sixth member of the Spice Girls.” / Maddy Morphosis: “Old Spice.”
24. Jorgeous in the Reading Challenge: “Jasmine Kennedie. Why do you look so old, but you are so young? You are the definition of white do crack.”
25. DeJa in the Reading Challenge: “Kerri Colby, what can I say that RuPaul hasn’t already hasn’t to you? Condragulations you’re the winner of this week’s challenge.”
26. Jasmine about DeJa’s cheerleader sketch for the talent show: “It’s ... eh? I don’t know, girl, she’s doing something.”
27. Jasmine about Daya’s Design Challenge looks: “Honestly, Daya is upset because she hasn’t won anything yet .But girl, you weren’t in the top for that challenge because shit was wrinkled and it looked ugly. Period.”
28. Jasmine: “When Jorgeous starts singing, it is like nails on a chalkboard. All tea.”
29. Jasmine: “Oh my god, Jorgeous is a chihuahua yapping at someone’s ankles.”
30. DeJa: “I actually have never taken a dance class.” / Jorgeous: “I can tell.”
31. DeJa while moderating the panel during the DragCon Panels Challenge: “Now we’re going to be talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Speaking of ugly, do you want to meet our panelists?”
32. Jasmine: “I feel so pretty. Like I genuinely feel pretty.” / Daya: “A drag queen’s best feature is delusion.”
33. DeJa: “I don’t know what’s going on, but all the girls are struggling right now. I feel like I’m doing great, but I haven’t laughed once, and this is weird because this is such a strong group of girls. There are very few jokes coming out. Like, there’s no funny.”
34. Jasmine: “The fact that this is this week’s episode just gives me more confidence in the fact that you saved me for a reason.” / Daya: “Eye roll. Eye roll. Eyes rolling in the back of my head. Jasmine has been in the bottom three times now. I have yet to see anything that Jasmine can do fantastically other than lip syncing when she’s in the bottom.”
35. Daya Betty: “Despite Lady [Camden] looking like the female gremlin on stage, I think this is the most attracted to her I have ever been.”
The Best Reads From The Judges & More
36. Carson Kressley to Jasmine about her DragCon Panels Challenge performance: “I know you’re a Kennedie, but in your panel, you were giving me Nancy Reagan as a magician vibes.”
37. RuPaul during the Snatch Game: “As Trinity the Tuck said, ‘Where are the jokes?!’”
38. RuPaul to Jasmine about former Drag Race contestant and fan-favorite Alyssa Edwards: “I would keep an eye out for Alyssa Edwards in some dark alleyway. She’s gonna be coming for you, because you look like a younger version of her. Did I just say that?”
39. Ross Mathews: “When DeJa was rapping, I was thinking to myself, ‘She could win this whole week,’ and then she comes out in that on the runway and I thought, ‘Well, she foiled that plan.’”
40. RuPaul: “Here you are in the Top 5.” / Daya: “You know what, I saw myself being here for sure.” / RuPaul: “You did.” / Daya: “I did, for sure.” / RuPaul: “I did not.” / Daya: “Ru’s already reading me!”