Without This Woman, I Wouldn’t Be Where I Am In Hollywood

Bustle’s Without This Woman is a series of essays honoring the women who challenge and change us. This month, Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, who plays a buttoned-up boss in Apple TV+’s Loot, talks about an actor who saw her light.

Fredi Walker-Browne was the original Joanne in Rent. She saw me in a community production of Rent and knew at that moment that I had the talent, grit, and tenacity to actually sustain in this business and continue to thrive.

Meeting her was dynamic, because she has a strong, beautiful, outgoing personality, and in retrospect, we matched each other in that. I remember the first time speaking to her. She said, “You’ve got a lot of talent, kid, but after you’re finished with your work, go home.” And I was like, “But I wanna go out and have fun.” And she said, “No. Go home, relax, rest, because you have another day of work that you have to continue.” I took it to heart and live up to it every day, because your body is your temple, and how are you gonna do anything if your body is not capable?

She helped me get my first opportunity off-Broadway, doing Rent in 2011. When I was in final callbacks, I was so nervous. I was scared about going in front of the panel, and asked her if I should even audition. She got on my case. She said, “What? Are you crazy? I got that audition for you, girl. You need to go!” And it hit me heavily, because no one had ever done that for me. No one had ever stuck their neck out so far for me.

Rent is a story about ostracized misfits. Until I got on that stage and played Angel, I didn’t know the impact of me as a trans person [in that role]. It built me up. I was so grateful. And to be honest, I only wanted to do that kind of transcendent work — work that helps people understand, work that helps people change the trajectory. That’s what Fredi did. She helped me change the trajectory.

Love is so crucial in a space where there may not be a lot of love — that’s what I took from Fredi — and I’m speaking about the industry. You have to challenge yourself to push love as much as you can. I like being a light, and I think that’s the mentorship that Fredi gave me. She had strong, very prominent views on how I should move. It was the kind of mentoring I needed. It also reminded me of my mother.

Though I haven’t spoken to her in a while, her impression still lands on me. Without that woman, I most likely would not be where I am today. I’d still be Michaela Jaé, but I don’t think I’d be positioned how I am at this moment. Without this woman, I wouldn’t fully understand what it’s like to move through the world as a woman of color who’s part of the LGBTQAI community, and to make a difference.

As told to Leila Barghouty. This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.