15 Things I Noticed Rewatching The Girls Pilot

There was a time in my college years when I truly believed that post-graduation, my life would be like that of Girls. Hannah, Marnie, Jessa, and Shoshanna (Lena Dunham, Allison Williams, Jemima Kirke, and Zosia Mamet, respectively) were a millennial’s answer to Sex and the City, showing me what it would look like to be a writer in New York City. Often labeled as antiheroes, the self-centered quartet made so many self-destructive decisions without pause that I couldn’t bear to watch — but I also couldn’t look away. Besides, who of us can say they never acted selfishly? Nobody’s perfect.

Revisiting it at [age redacted] today, I noticed a few new things from the 2012 pilot. First off, why doesn’t anyone knock on bathroom doors before entering? Does no one want to maintain an air of mystery with their friends and significant others? I also can’t stop thinking about how Jessa isn’t on Facebook. It must be nice not to be Extremely Online, doom-scrolling 24/7 and straining your eyes with the blue light of a screen. Will I have more thoughts as I continue my rewatch? Absolutely. Will suspending my disbelief be a struggle? Also yes.

Here are 15 things I noticed while rewatching the first episode of Girls.

1. Where Is Hannah Getting Dinner With Her Parents?

Ah, it’s Murals on 54, the restaurant in the Warwick Hotel. This place seems pretty nice and an interesting choice to tell your daughter you’re cutting her off financially. It may not be the best conversation to have in public, though. Especially if the whole discussion blew up, wouldn’t it be awkward to have the rest of the hotel there to witness it and continue staying there until they leave?

2. Is Hannah Allowed To Intern For 2 Years?

She’s not getting paid, either. Is this legal? Was this legal in 2012? The answer: kind of.

3. Marnie’s Retainer Should Have Way More Drool

As someone who sleeps with retainers and shamelessly slobbers all over her pillow, I found Marnie’s curiously dry retainer unrealistic.

4. Marnie & Hannah Cuddling... And Showering Together?

Cuddling is one thing, especially when you’re stuck with unfavorable sleeping arrangements during a bachelorette party. But showering together, too? Am I just not that close with my friends?

5. “Texting is the lowest form of communication.”

Girls is a sign of the times here, clearly made before Snapchat took over and Tinder became popular. Marnie speaks with the confidence of someone who never got a “U UP?” Snapchat DM at two in the morning.

6. Shoshanna’s Apartment Is Only $2,100 Per Month

Instead of staying at NYU dorms, she’s renting out the massive studio bedroom apartment in Nolita — with the help of her parents, who also likely furnished her chic digs. After poking around Zillow for comparable prices in that neighborhood in 2012, I’d say our girl got a good deal.

7. Jessa Isn’t On Facebook & Hasn’t Seen Sex and the City

Good for you, Jessa. If I had to give up one, it would be Facebook.

8. Where Does Hannah Work?

Based on the street shots, it looks like it’s off Sixth Avenue, around where the book publisher Simon and Schuster would be. Or maybe it’s Harper Collins Publishers in the Newscorp building? Though, one writer posits that it’s Melville House.

9. This Is How I Met Adam Driver

Also named Adam in the series, Hannah’s boyfriend is an amalgamation of every man I should have never texted back in 2015. That is, emotionally unavailable, can’t answer a text to save his life, but always DTF. With the boyish haircut, socks with holes in the toes, a man cave with a doctor’s office scale, and a lightbulb on a string, this man is peak DGAF bachelor.

10. The Sex Scene Between Hannah & Adam Is So Awkward

I looked away during my first watch in 2014 and looked away again in 2023. Adam and Hannah’s relationship — to use the word loosely — may be unconventional, and their intimate interactions are no different. Despite Hannah’s appearing uncomfortable, they do the deed, and it’s cringeworthy. Little did I know back in 2014, there was more to come.

11. Is Charlie Oblivious To How Much Marnie Doesn’t Like him?

Marnie’s serious boyfriend couldn’t be more in love (grossly obsessed) with her, and she compares him to “a weird uncle, putting his hand on my knee on Thanksgiving.” Her constant cringing isn’t subtle, but Charlie is oblivious. At one point, he asks her what would turn her on. “What if you were a stranger?” she responds. Come on, dude! Even Jessa has to ask if Charlie has a girlfriend. The vibes just aren’t there!

12. Ray’s Joke About The Sound of Music Kills Me

While recounting her nannying gig in France, Jessa claims the children she watched liked to sing and that their father was a “brilliant pacifist thinker.” Ray responds: “Isn’t that the plot to The Sound of Music?” Reader, I snorted laughing.

Hannah mishearing “twigs” for “Twix” had me in stitches this time around, too. Honest mistake.

13. Hannah Refuses To Get A Job At McDonald’s

Even though the money would be a step above her current pay (which is nothing), she still uses “I went to college” as her argument for not working in fast food.

14. Marnie Doesn’t Seem So Terrible At First

She’s just a bit uptight over her boyfriend. It’s understandable, especially if he’s trying to move in with her and she’s not ready. I would be stressed about that, too. But her telling Hannah to ask her parents for a little more money (probably so she can pay rent to Marnie, and then Charlie doesn’t have to move in) foreshadows how self-serving her actions can be.

15. Does No One Knock On Bathroom Doors?

First, Charlie with Hannah and Marnie, then Marnie with Jessa. Is nothing sacred anymore?

If you need me, I’ll be diving into the second episode of Girls Season 1. Again.