TV & Movies
10 Times Rory Gilmore Was Demure, But Not Mindful
She made some mistakes but looked very cutesy along the way.
Ever since Jools Lebron’s TikTok about her “very demure, very mindful” look went viral this August, netizens have had fun sorting pop culture figures into buckets. Think Charlotte York, Kate Sharma, and Dragon from Shrek as “demure,” vs. Carrie Bradshaw, Anthony Bridgerton, and Donkey as not.
“Your demure is what it means to you,” Lebron recently told CBS Mornings. “It’s being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world.”
Lebron’s classification system leaves plenty of room for interpretation, but there are a few figures who are widely regarded as fitting the bill. Take Rory Gilmore, for example, the Stars Hollow teen whose understated style and composed, soft-spoken sensibility seem to embody the viral label.
Emily Gilmore certainly thought so. In a Gilmore Girls clip resurfaced by Netflix, Rory’s order of “just club soda” at dinner prompts her grandmother to dub her “so demure.”
But even if she rocked a demure vibe, her actions didn’t always back it up, which, granted, is a pretty normal part of growing up. Here are 10 times Rory Gilmore was demure but not mindful.
Rory’s School Dance
Rory looked incredibly demure when she wore that blue dress — a Lorelai Gilmore original — and baby’s-breath bun to her Chilton dance with Dean. Of course, accidentally falling asleep at Miss Patty’s wasn’t her most mindful moment.
The Puffs Ambush
Remember when Lorelai tipped Rory off that the Puffs — the exclusive Chilton sorority — were going to “kidnap” her in the middle of the night for a surprise breakfast outing? The warning allowed Rory to put on presentable PJs, brush her hair, and even slap on some lip gloss. Paris had no such notice and was picked up sporting pimple cream and major bedhead. “Nothing in my life is fair,” she sighs after Rory fibbed and said, yes, this is what she naturally looks like waking up.
It’s not the worst lie in the world! But if Rory had felt more generous in spirit, she could have used the moment to assuage some of Paris’ insecurities — to admit that she did not even wake up photo-ready.
Her Basket Behavior
It can be quite demure to stand by as two suitors fight over the chance to take you out for a picnic lunch. (As Lebron says, getting involved with drama is decidedly not demure. Let them figure it out!)
But Rory’s nonchalance about Jess winning her date in the name of Bid-on-a-Basket tradition was perhaps a little too polite and “cutesy,” given how Jess was trying to rock the boat here. Luckily, the pier date that followed was adorable.
Kissing Jess
Rory’s first brush with infidelity culminated in kissing Jess at Sookie’s wedding, which was just bad bridesmaid behavior.
The Dance Marathon
Many of Rory’s least mindful moments revolve around Jess — that’s a bookish, bad-boy crush for you! Dean broke up with her after she was fighting with Jess as she slow-danced with her boyfriend. Her vintage dress and wavy ponytail were a look, though.
The Affair & Letter
“Demure” connotes a kind of timeless charm, and writing a letter to your lover from Europe is certainly that. But Rory’s approach in Season 5 was clumsy, telling Dean she didn’t regret their affair and getting the sordid missive to him in a way that almost ensured his wife would find it.
Emily & Richard’s Wedding
Rory’s suit at her grandparents’ vow renewal was a chic, unexpected look, but sneaking off with Logan in the middle of the festivities was pretty awkward.
Stealing The Yacht
One of Rory’s all-time demure fits was the baby blue coat she wore to steal a yacht with Logan. However, the ensuing refrigerator mugshot memorialized one of her least mindful moments.
The Babies’ Baptism
The dress Rory wore to Sookie’s babies’ baptism was gorgeous. The black piping? The coquette bow detail? Rory’s criteria for choosing the outfit was based on “what goes better with a baby,” but she ironically seemed to forget her godchild when she got caught up in an argument with Lorelai and exited the church to settle it. Time and place, ladies!
Her AYITL Job Interview
Rory was going through it in A Year in the Life, but few moments embody the demure-mindful schism quite like her disastrous SandeeSays interview in “Spring,” when she spent so much time trying to find her “lucky outfit” and not enough preparing for the potential job.
As Lebron reminds us: “Be mindful of why they hired you. Here’s your reality check, diva. What’s the name you’d like me to make it out to?”
