What Name Do You Think This Starbucks Cup Says?

Quick, gather your friends and loved ones, but make sure you have your torches, pitchforks, and wooden stakes nearby, because you may need to Hunger Games fight them in a minute. Remember that demon dress that looked either blue and black or white and gold somehow (the Devil)? Well, the Internet is at it again, but this time it's a coffee cup. Quick, look at this and tell me what it says: Corey or Greg? I'll level with you: if you dare tell me that, at first glance, you think that looks like "Greg" you have earned yourself a place on my sworn enemies list and a throat punch. It clearly looks like "Corey." And don't try to tell me "But I can tell from the Twitter account that the guy's name is Greg, so it's obviously Greg," because this is Starbucks. I once had "Jamie" come out as "Polly". If anything, the fact that he told them "Greg" is pretty strong evidence that they wrote "Corey." Some people are even saying it says "Grey." Those people are, I'm convinced, being willfully silly. Like the people who looked at the Demon Dress and said "Actually, I think it looks pink and taupe." No. No you don't, you're going out of your way to be different and it's pissing me off. Go home, you're drunk.

Being completely honest: if you asked me what this said I would unquestioningly say "Corey" and never think anything of it. But — and this is where this cup is unlike the Demon Dress — once you tell me "Don't you think this could also possible be Greg?" I can squint and say, "Oh yeah, I guess...like...if the barista's 'G's are unnecessarily weird."

So, for future reference, barista who wrote this name...

THESE are possible, unmistakable iterations of "Greg":

And "Corey":

To be crystal clear, whether that first glyph is supposed to be a "G" or a "Co," you're failing pretty hard. Now that you know better, do better. Unless, of course, this was all part of your master plan to get everyone debating this in the first place, in which case...

Bravo and well played, you gloriously beautiful IRL troll...

Images: Getty; Jamie Kenney(2); Giphy