Your Android Phone is Sexually Repressed

Despite all the naughty things the Samsung Galaxy 4 and Google's Nexus 5 can (potentially) do, the Android operating system's KitKat incarnation is doing its best to keep your mind clean, gosh darn it: KitKat's recognized list of Swype Type words (think along the lines of autocorrect, Apple people) is rather exclusive. More than 1,400 words have apparently been deemed "inappropriate" by a built-in filter. Many of the words relate to sex, body parts (especially women's body parts), and various fetishes. Even "lovemaking" isn't in the approved list.

'Braless?' 'Panty?' Just try texting your "friend" about your black lace ones, young lady. If Auntie Android has her censorship way, sexy texts will read "I am wearing a red mammary gland support garment and long transparent socks. Come over for a hug."

Apparently, periods are also gross: 'Tampax' is not okay, according to the list. (No word on Kotex). Also verboten is discussing sexual health: 'STI' isn't in there, and 'condom' results in 'confusion' or 'condition,' which is a confusing condition in itself.

Auntie Android is, however, fine with drugs: "Bong," "marijuana," and um, "methamphetamine," are all okay to text about. As Wired puts it, "Klansmen” and “supremacist” are blocked, but “Nazi” is fair game."

Then again, my iPhone automatically capitalizes the word "white" (awkward). But as Bustle reported, Apple is no angel when it comes to autocorrect:

If you mistype ”abortion,” “rape,” “ammo,” and “bullet” into your iPhone, autocorrect won’t kick in — and spellcheck won’t even suggest their correct spellings.

Apple’s abortion-aversion is nothing new. In December 2011, a blogger discovered that Siri wouldn’t tell users where they could find an abortion clinic. In extreme cases in Washington, D.C., Siri actually directed them to pro-life clinics. While Apple did say that these omissions were unintentional, [these autocorrect omissions] throw those claims into question. (Particularly when you consider words like “effleurage” and “osteogenesis” were given correct suggested spellings when misspelled.)

So far, Google hasn't responded to requests for comments about just why its dictionary is so high-strung — nor why it'll recognize 'iPhone' but not 'Chromebook' (brand recognition fail much?). Of course, one could manually enter in all their dirty little words, or turn the blocked words list off. But until then, KitKat will continue dividing its word lists — and its users — into naughty and nice.

Image: Fotolia