Finally! A Reason to Care About 'Pirates 5'

Christoph Waltz is cinema's biggest douche-bag. Sure, he's a total silver fox and has the most adorable German accent, but as far as his career goes, we know that when he appears on screen, it's a big, fat, spoiler alert that he's the bad guy. So it comes as no surprise that Christoph Waltz may appear in Pirates of the Caribbean 5 as Johnny Depp's bad boy counterpart. The full title of the film is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, sort of like that song by The Pierces.

Waltz is being sought to play Captain Brand, the baddie pirate who just happens to be a ghost. A former member of the British military (cause you know, he's dead) Brand has beef with Jack for turning his brother Eric into a pirate, which subsequently lead him to his death. It sounds like a bit of a stretch for the film's main villain to use that excuse for causing whatever terrors are sure to antagonize the plot, but hey, we have no doubt Waltz is up to the challenge.

The film will also star Keith Richards, returning to play Jack's strung out pirate dad, and yet-to-be-confirmed Rebecca Hall (Iron Man 3) as Carina, the sexy and smart love interest of Jack, who just happens to be the daughter of Barbossa, Jack's longtime serpent-bearded nemesis.

None of this news, however, is entirely timely, as the film won't (likely) hit theatres until summer of 2016. SIGH. But if Waltz is indeed cast, it will give us a reason to finally return to the otherwise convoluted franchise. To remedy your Waltz craving, take a look at some of the most glorious (see what I did there?) photos of a young Christoph Waltz (think a poutier, more mop-headed Ryan Gosling) to keep yourself subdued.

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