What makes a perfect day? Getting the last seat on the train? Seeing a rainbow? Eat Chipotle for lunch and dinner? No. None of these things. A perfect day is when you discover a Donald Trump butt plug exists. And for me, that day is today. The world is truly a place of wonder and magic.
How did these glorious stars align into the greatest sex toy ever made, you ask? Well, we can thank Fernando Sosa, an artist who specializes in 3-D printing, and lived in Mexico until age 11, according to The Guardian. Sosa was one of many people angered by Trump's inflammatory and offensive comments about Mexicans, that "...They are bringing drugs, and bringing crime" into the United States, and "they're rapists." But in one of the more innovative protests form I've seen, Sosa decided to do something about it. And now we have a Donald Trump butt plug. The Donald Trump butt plug (I insist on referring to it by its full name) is available on Sosa's Shapeways website, which also features a Kim Jong Un butt plug, along with Hillary Clinton and Walter White desk toppers (not butt plugs, desk toppers). The site also includes the artist's explanation and motivation for the plug, including a response to Trump's comments. He says:
I'm no rapists [sic] and no drug dealer. I have a college degree in 3D animation and run my own 3D printing business and guess what? I can make you into any shape i want and 3D print you and sell you to others who share their dislike of you. You can threaten to sue me like you have done hundreds of times to others. However, You are a Public figure and me making you into a shape of a butt plug is Freedom of speech. Welcome to America Mother F*cker!!
So next time you decide to insult a whole race in order to further your political career or get yourself on TV. Remember we are engineers, we are 3D printers, we are doctors, we clean your house and we cook the food you eat so Don't Fuck with us.
He's not the first to saunter into the world of hilarious Donald Trump merchandise, but, in my opinion, he is the most effective. And because I just can't get enough, here are 3 more of the most ridiculous butt plugs out there:
1. The Fanciest Butt Plug In All The Land
What do you buy the person who has everything? Apparently, an 18 karat gold butt plug. It is a thing. A thing that costs over $2,000. I bet you're thinking, "For that price, it better come with matching cufflinks!" Well, don't fret, because it does. (WHY?)
2. The Butt Plug To Help You Discover Your Inner Playmate
According to LoveHoney, you can "discover your inner 'Playboy' with this cute-but-kinky glass butt plug with a bunny tail." Or ruin Easter for all eternity. Read the reviews for extra disturbing details.
3. The Manliest Butt Plug Of Them All (Vladimir Putin)
He can jump democracy in single bound. He can ride a bear. He can rescue treasures from the sea. And now, in another design of Sosa's, he can ready your anus for penetration.
Images: Fernando Sosa/Shapeways; Coco De Mer; LoveHoney; Fernando Sosa/Shapeways
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