Tony & His Bonsai Tree For Bachelor 2016

As this season of The Bachelorette nears its end, the time has come for rampant speculation about who will be the next Bachelor. Though most people are pulling for Ben H., Ben Z., Shawn, and Nick, I am steering down the road less traveled and putting all my efforts into rooting for Tony. Yes, you read that right. Tony the Healer should be the next Bachelor and for those of you out there who are skeptical, I’m about to detail all the reason why Tony should be the Bachelor.

At this point in time, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette franchise is an institution. We know the ins and outs of the show like the back of our hand. We know how the game is played and can often predict who is going to make it to the end based on how the show is edited. Suffice it to say, The Bachelor/Bachelorette has gotten just a bit predictable.

So the time has come to mix things up and the best way to do that is by choosing a Bachelor who goes against our expectations. I can think of no one who would defy our expectations more than Tony the Healer.

He'd Bring His Bonsai Tree

Tony made it very clear that coming on The Bachelorette was a difficult sacrifice for him, particularly because it meant he must be temporarily separated from his beloved bonsai tree. Luckily, if Tony were the Bachelor, he could bring his bonsai tree with him. Just imagine all the glorious B roll footage there would be of him watering his bonsai tree (which is not a euphemism, by the way).

He's More Eccentric Than Your Typical Bachelor

Though the names and faces may change, the Bachelor generally remains pretty much the same. It’s usually a single white male, age 25-35, who works is a personal trainer or marketing rep. There isn’t much wiggle room for diversity as far as The Bachelor goes and I think Tony would be great to way to mix up the usual stream of yuppies.

He'd Surely Have Some Odd Dates

We all know Tony doesn’t like the ‘violent’ dates and tends to prefer more spiritual pursuits. I can only imagine that all of his dates would be along the lines of the awkward ‘sex guru’ date from Chris Soules’ season. Hilarity is guaranteed to ensue.

The Pool of Women Would Probably Be Different

Something tells me Tony’s type isn’t "V.I.P. Cocktail Waitresses" or "Former N.F.L. Cheerleaders.” I bet his group of women would skew more towards the yogis and nomads.

We Would Get More Hilarious Tony Quotes

Tony dropped some great quotes this season and I want him to be Bachelor, if for no other reason, is so we can get some great new Tony one-liners.

It Might Actually Be "The Most Dramatic Season of The Bachelor Ever"

When you’re as sensitive as Tony, there’s bound to be hella drama. Bring on the hysterics, y’all.

He Looks Like Tom Brady

Need I say more?

Image: Matt Petit/ABC