"F*ck That" Guide To Meditation Just Gets You

At the end of a yoga class I was in, the instructor once asked us to meditate. In front of each student, she placed a candle, and we were to soften our eyes, empty our minds, and just stare at the tiny flame. Of course, I immediately started thinking about how weird fire was, just this alive little thing on the end of a wick. Then I started thinking how ridiculous and weird and arbitrary existence is, which led me to think maybe nothing is real which caused me to have a tiny little silent existential freak out when I was meant to be reaching spiritual nirvana. Jason Headley and his amazing "Fuck that" guided meditation video counteracts that urge to let your mind wander by giving you a very specific goal. Basically, to "fuck that", whatever in your life "that" may be.

It's definitely more my speed for meditating, although I'm pretty sure it's not particularly "namaste". That is to say, if you take spiritual enlightenment very seriously, it might not be for you. But if you're like me and meditating basically means washing off haters and getting on with a beautiful life, then this is definitely, 100 percent going to be up your alley. Here is some of the meditative advice you can expect from the video:

1. "Those bitches can’t get under your skin… they can’t even."

2. "Feel the fucking nonsense float away."

3. "Breathe in strength, breathe out bullshit."

4. "If your thoughts drift to the three ring shit show of your life, bring your attention back to your breathing."

5. "All the soul eating cocksuckers just fall away to nothing… those assholes can’t piss all over purity like this."

6. "Greet the world and everything in it with a new beautiful breath of 'fuck that.'"

Watch, listen and be guided below:

Photo: Moyan Brenn/Flickr; Giphy (6)