9 Things We Need To Stop Beating Ourselves Up Over

Most people are their own worst critic/enemy/saboteur. There are things you notice in yourself that no one else even sees, because those things are inevitably out shined by how fabulous everyone else thinks you are. The things you pick at yourself for are generally invisible to other people, which is a pretty good argument for you not beating yourself up over those things. Mostly, people are far too busy beating themselves up over the exact same things to even notice or acknowledge that you're beating yourself up in the first place. Ergo, everyone needs to chill.

I am definitely someone who is hugely self critical, and most of the time, I don't deserve it. But I still do it, because if I'm not going to self-flagellate no one else is going to do it for me. No, everyone else is just going to be all dumb and sweet and lovely and encouraging. See how silly that sounds? You're sitting there thinking how silly I am for being so self-critical, aren't you? As silly as it sounds right now, that's exactly how silly it sounds when you do it too. So what's more important? Giving yourself a break, or silliness? Here are nine fairly general things everyone should cut themselves a little bit of slack on, and stop beating themselves up about.

1. Our bodies and looks

Literally no one thinks you look bad except you. No one has even noticed that one of your eyes is ever so slightly higher than the other one. No one looks at your cellulite/muffin top/acne scars/stretch marks etc and thinks anything. They look at you and either think nothing much, or that you're beautiful. So you should try, as best you can, to stop beating yourself about your body and looks and the things you cannot change. When you're healthy and happy, you're the most beautiful you'll ever be anyway, regardless of what you think you look like on the outside.

2. Eating pizza

Or any indulgence, really. I often beat myself up about poor eating choices, but sometimes they're necessary because where would we be without pizza? Probably all dead, if we're being entirely honest about it.

3. Making mistakes at work

I mean, if you're embezzling money you should probably feel bad about that. But if you mess up a spreadsheet or get your wire crossed on a deadline and wind up missing it, it's not the end of the world. Your boss might be mildly annoyed at you for an afternoon, but the world keeps turning. And you have to keep doing your job, so there's not much point putting all your energy into stressing about a mistake. Fix the mistake, and move on. It's done, it's over, and there's no use wallowing in it.

4. Being single

Sometimes your single, sometimes you're not. If what you're looking for is a relationship, constantly beating yourself up about being single is going to lead you to make bad decisions. Relax, and just do you, and someone will eventually cross your path who catches your eye.

5. The past

The past happened. You can't change it now, no matter how much you beat yourself up. Next.

6. The future

The future is completely unknowable. I particularly like to beat myself up about the future. I'm constantly on my own back for not having X, Y and Z thing in three years time. Even though I have no idea what I'm going to have in three years time. Suck on that, logic.

7. Failure

Life is constantly setting goals for yourself, whether it's getting your dream career or reading two books this month. Don't sweat it when you don't achieve the exact things you hoped to achieve in the exact time frame you set for yourself. Life isn't linear. Sometimes you'll win, and sometimes you'll lose. The important thing is that you always get another shot to try again.

8. Social awkwardness

So someone waved at you and you waved back, only to find that they were waving at someone behind you. Whatever. No one remembers this kind of thing but you. You looked like an idiot for ten seconds and then it was over, dwelling on it is not productive. Especially because it won't be long until you look like a fool in public again. Just saying. It happens to the best of us.

9. Doing nothing

You know those Sundays where you say you're going to go to the market and clean the house and read a book and do some gardening and call your mom, but actually you end up sitting on the couch in your underpants all day watching TV? Don't beat yourself up about them. Sometimes you've earned the right to be a slovenly waste of space, and you should indulge it for the brief time you have it, because other times you're going to wish you had the opinion of being a do-nothing for a day (i.e. Monday).

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