Summer is all about beach time, and yet, when Shark Week rolls around, hanging out in the sand suddenly seems like a terrible idea. Staying in and watching a movie is definitely preferable to being eaten by sharks, piranhas, or sea monsters. Of course,t the truth is, as long as you keep your eyes open and stay mindful, the chances of something horrific happening to you while you are out wading in the ocean are slim. However, for one week every year, everyone becomes so obsessed with all the weird creatures that go bump in the depths of the ocean that reality takes a backseat to our inner fears. I say embrace Shark Week fully by expanding your viewing schedule to include not only Discovery's awesome offerings, but some film classics (and let's be real, some cheesefests) as well.
The movies on this list run the gamut from the scary to the ridiculously over-the-top to the all-too-real. The one thing they all have in common is that they remind you of everything that could lurk below the surface of those oh-so-tantalizing waves (and how even the waves themselves can turn against you). Since you've already committed to staying in this week, stock up on some extra snacks and get ready for some ocean adventures that will make you thankful you are safe at home on your comfy couch. After all, Shark Week comes but once a year — you might as well make the most of it.
1. Jaws (1975)
When it comes to "don't go into the water" movies, Jaws is the king. Not only did Jaws create the summer blockbuster season as moviegoers know it, it is also legitimately horrifying. Would the world be so fascinated with sharks if Steven Spielberg had never let a great white run away with our imaginations as it snacked its way through the fictional seaside town of Amity Island? I don't think so.
2. Piranha (2010)
Piranha is bloody and hilarious. It is the very definition of a so bad, it's good movie. While I don't think swarms of giant piranhas are high on the list of things you have to worry about when you go into the ocean, Piranha still has its share of jump scares. More importantly, it has Adam Scott riding a ski boat and toting a shotgun so he can shoot piranhas. I can't think of anything else I could possibly want out of a movie.
3. Open Water (2003)
If it is real scares you are looking for, then check out Open Water. Based on the true story of Tom and Eileen Lonergan, a couple that were left behind during a scuba diving expedition, Open Water is an intensely claustrophobic tale. The movie focuses entirely on the main characters floating in the water, trying desperately to survive and avoid sharks. Making matters even worse, the real Lonergans were never found.
4. Deep Blue Sea (1999)
The only thing scarier than a regular shark is a genetically engineered genius shark. Deep Blue Sea is admittedly quite silly, but if you let yourself go with it, there are some genuine scares. Also, there's a crazy Ned Stark-style moment early in the movie that sets the tone for everything that comes after.
5. Grabbers (2012)
I have no idea why Grabbers hasn't been designated a cult classic yet. The Irish sea monster movie is hysterical and the monsters are so wonderfully gross. Plus, the surprising way the townspeople have to protect themselves is so ingenious I am not even going to hint at it here because it would spoil the fun. Sea monsters aren't real, but Grabbers might still make you think twice about taking a dip at the beach.
6. Anaconda (1997)
Anaconda is pure camptastic goodness. It combines ocean fear with giant snakes and the always awesome J. Lo. It's a definite must-see for J. Lo alone — just think of the man-eating snake as a bonus.
7. Sharknado (2013)
You're not safe in the water or on land. (You know you want an excuse to watch this one again.)
8. Deep Rising (1998)
The creature in Deep Rising will haunt you're dreams. The movie has it's share of laughs, but would you want to be trapped in an abandoned ocean liner with a monster with so many teeth?
9. The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Sometimes it's not what's in the ocean that is scary, it's the ocean itself. My favorite people vs. the ocean movie is and always will be the classic version of The Poseidon Adventure. When a tidal wave tips over an ocean liner, all hell breaks loose. The intensity level is off the charts with this one.
Sharks get a bad rep, but watch these movies to remind yourself that most of it is all fiction — but maybe, you're better off staying out of the water for at least a little while when you're done.
Images: Dimension Films; Lionsgate; Columbia Pictures; Giphy (4); oninochuck/Tumblr
