5 Rosé Facts You Must Know This Weekend

Some people like to call the months between May and September "summer," but those people are plebeians who misunderstand that what that time period really represents is "rosé season." What is Rosé season? Rosé season is the joyous time of year when we can strap on our espadrilles, contemplate quitting our jobs to run off the Paris or Phoenix or whatever, and order several glasses of blush colored wine with every meal. If by "every meal" you think I mean only lunch and dinner, then you too are misunderstanding rosé season. Even dudes are getting on board, like Senior Fusion Editor (and cool name possessor) Felix Salmon, who wrote a groundbreaking, important piece on the subject called, "All men should be drinking rosé."

You're damn right they should be.

Rosé gets a bad rap for being the Smirnoff Ice of wines. People think it's the wine that Sorority girls binge drink while watching The Bachelorette on Monday nights, and they're not wrong, but that's just one kind of rosé drinker (and, well, probably one kind of rosé...for the purposes of this article I will not consider Sunset Blush to be an appropriate iteration of rosé). There are actually a ton of delicious, not overly sweet, refreshing kinds of rosé out there for you to try this season. And you should try them all.

So, what is rosé? Rosé is nectar from the gods that gets its pink hue from grape skins, but it doesn't stay in contact with them long enough to turn it truly red (or to qualify as a red wine). That's why some rosés are brighter pink than others: the pinker the wine, the longer it has been in contact with grape skins. It is not what happens when you mix red and white wine together. That is shitty red-white wine juice, and that is disgusting.

Here's what you need to know to celebrate rosé season fruitfully and meaningfully:

1. You Want It Dry

Good rosé is like bad sex: dry. You want it to be slightly acidic (and not overly sweet), because the dryness is what makes a rosé so refreshing.

2. Rosé Is Totally Appropriate in Cocktails

This is a perfect example of never letting the man get you down. Don't ever let anyone tell you not to make a rosé cocktail. In fact, you should probably not be interacting with haters like that without lubing yourself up with several of these first.

3. Rosé Doesn't Age Particularly Well

Look, I'm going to give it to you straight here: if you show up with an old bottle of rosé trying to look like you know your shit, you're going to be exposed for the wine newb you are. You want a current vintage when you're buying rosé, so look for bottles from years where the Kardashians were relevant.

4. Rosé Champagne Is Worth Splurging On

Pro tip: a normal, decent bottle of rosé doesn't have to cost more than $15. A good bottle of rosé champagne, however, is going to be pricier. It's one of those things where you can either have a really good street taco or go to a five-star restaurant for dinner and both will be great, but you don't want to try to replicate the experience of the five-star dinner at some middle tier restaurant. You'll just be unhappy.

5. Don't Get American Rosé

I know it's not the most patriotic move, but if you're stocking up on rosé for your Fourth of July party this weekend, you should probably get Old World (like, French) wine. Rosés from the Old World just tend to be drier than those from over here. When in doubt, get something from Provence.

Images: Rosé Season, Stylish Spoon, dbayles, Veuve Clicquot, Roses and Rosé / Instagram