I can't seem to shut my mouth about how much I love living alone. Honestly, I might even skip the whole "forever life partner" thing in exchange for the joy of continuing to live roommate-free. Because although I do miss a few things about a select number of my 30 roommate history, there is one overriding part I never want to do again. That part is sharing a bathroom. You think it might be a chill endeavor since you have different schedules, but you're actually lying to yourself. Sharing a bathroom is the antithesis of chill.
Unfortunately, the chill factor has less to do with a person's garbage index (like, how terrible your roommate is) and more to do with inevitability. In my final (I hope) roommate situation, I shared a tiny, tiny bathroom with three other people. Guess how many times I accidentally peed just a bit waiting for someone to wrap up in there? Keep guessing, because I will not reveal this information. I will reveal, however, that I ran back downstairs and down the block to our favorite bar at least three times to pee there instead. There are just a lot of nuances and struggles one must tolerate when sharing a bathroom because—bad news—you probably inflict every single one of these things, too. Things like:
Making baths impossible
I shouldn't say impossible always, but they sure are impossible in a spontaneous sense. My most recent roommate arrangement was three women with one bathroom, and we would check with everyone before getting in. Like, in advance. Because everyone knows you're not going to be in there for a quickie. Even with that situation, we'd still occasionally have to barge in and pee while the other person is chilling there naked in the tub and possibly in the dark. Maybe that's weird. I don't care. I don't have to deal with it anymore.
Mysterious wetness
Legit one of my least favorite phenomena on the planet.
Random freaking people showing up
Shout out to that one ladies' man-dude I lived with who regularly paraded strangers through our rowhouse so I could get scared almost nightly over midnight pee run-ins.
See what rings familiar in the whole compilation below of what sharing a bathroom is really like:
Images: YouTube(3)
