Everyone Makes Bad Decisions on 'Scandal'

Good judgment? Common sense? The ability to think things through? Eh, who needs that stuff! Over on Scandal , what’s really important is making life as difficult and complicated and, well, scandalous as possible. While every character on this show has a few black marks on their record when it comes to judgment, in this episode, almost everyone seems to have done something stupid. Well, maybe not Mama Pope. But just about everybody else.

Now, not all of it was major. Harrison, for instance, only managed to sleep with the Josie Marcus’ daughter/sister/campaign staffer Candace, which would be a risky career move even if she weren’t objectively awful. But this one-night stand proves to be nothing compared to the lapses in judgment by the likes of Cyrus, Fitz, or even Olivia. The worst part though? We have to wait until after Thanksgiving to find out what the fallout might be. Two weeks, ABC? Really? TWO WEEKS? Well, in the meantime, here’s our look at some of the bigger “What were you thinking?” moments.

Candace

There’s a break-in at the Marcus house, and a laptop is stolen. And it turns out the reason Candace is so quick to blame the political competition — actually defying Olivia Pope’s instructions — is because she herself orchestrated the whole thing. And got caught, because she’s an idiot. To cover for her, Josie Marcus takes the fall and resigns her candidacy, right when we were just starting to like her. While it’s an admirable move as a person, it seriously sucks that it will forever kill her national career. Thanks a lot Candace. Now we have to stop saying Phoebe for President.

Cyrus

Normally when Cyrus and Mellie start plotting things together it is epic, and this week was no exception. Those two should really be teaming up to run the country. Oh wait, they kind of do. But this week’s plan predictably backfired. Cyrus and Mellie tried to steer James into the path of the vice president’s husband after witnessing him flirting with James at a party. Mellie warns Cy that it’s dangerous, but he has absolute faith in James. Unfortunately for him, James is not an idiot. He works the whole thing out and instead of coming home and shouting things that never seem to do any good, he sleeps with the vice president’s husband instead. And Cyrus’ photo-dude has pictures of it, and then Cyrus is crying, and I really want to just give him a hug while also saying, “Told you so.” Oh wait, that should be Mellie’s line.

Mellie

Remember the days when we were all really good at keeping secrets about Fitz and Olivia? Those days have passed. Really, Mellie, you think the secretary can’t easily work out why you’re calling Olivia when Fitz doesn’t pick up? Or that someone couldn’t make something of those call logs? Oh boy.

Fitz

He built a house for him and Liv. It’s either the dumbest thing he’s ever done or the sweetest. Possibly both. Who didn’t notice that the president was having a house built? Or that he’s having his mistress helicoptered up to New England from her own roof. Remember what I just said about not keeping secrets well?

Olivia

Slept with Fitz. Sweetie, I know you love him, and he built you a house and mentioned making jam, but he is so not good enough for you. Not even a little. This was not a good idea.

Quinn

She… wait, were there any good options left to Quinn at this point? Probably not. She’s been boxed into a pretty tight corner. She arguably could have shot Charlie in the head at one point, but you know that would have just backfired, too. And now she has Huck in her apartment having worked out that she killed the security guard, and he’s brought duct tape and a drill. Maybe if she’d come clean to him… no, it still might have wound up here. TWO WEEKS IS TOO LONG YOU GUYS!

Rowan

After Mama Pope tried to kill herself in one of the grossest scenes I have seen on this show, Rowan tries to cheer her up. From their conversation, it seems that she did some sort of awful thing — probably related to that dirty bomb that was on the plane — and has been in secret prison without trial for 20 years as a result. So what better way to cheer her up than with newspaper clippings about her daughter? Oh wait, just about any other way would be better, because once she escapes, she can go find Olivia and be all like, “Hi, remember me?” Which is basically what happens. I blame you for this, Eli Pope. I blame you for all of this.

Yeah, no, I’m not going to make it to two weeks.

Image: ABC