There's a certain je ne sais quoi about the oldest child. A certain flair. Which is what makes dating the first-born so very awesome. Like sliding down rainbows or eating ice cream with sprinkles on a warm summer day. There are ton of benefits to being the oldest child. Are you guys getting my drift? Am I a little biased? Perhaps I am as I'm the oldest and I have to represent.
I used to love the Brady Bunch. Six kids, a dog, a maid, exceptionally cool parents, and a sunny California. But you know the real reason I love the Brady's? It wasn't because of that brat Cindy. Or boring Peter. Or jealous Jan. And Bobby? I barely remember him. No, it's because Marcia and Greg were the shiz. The coolest kids on the block. Admit it, you secretly yearned to be them. Or hook up with them.
Are you dating someone who is the first born? The leader of the pack? The cool cat? Or perhaps you at the oldest child and you just like reading about yourself. Then read on and discover why dating the oldest child is the way to go. Well, at least if you're not the oldest. Because that would be a disaster.
1. The Oldest Is The Most Reliable
Having your bills paid is pretty great right? Yep, I thought so. The oldest child is as reliable as man buns are trendy. Which is to say very. Years of taking care of younger siblings has led to a character sturdier than the mighty oak tree.
2. Oldest Children Like To Be In Control
According to Kevin Leman author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are, the oldest child likes taking charge. The oldest child never had to grow up with an older sibling making fun of them for dressing like a goofball or looking like a dying fish while learning how to swim. The oldest also tends to model themselves after their parent(s) so if they see a parent disciplining a younger child they'll likely follow suit. All the pressure to set a good example also sets into motion the idea that the oldest knows better. And let's not forget who's in charge while babysitting.
3. Oldest Children Are Ambitious
No, I didn't just make that up. Studies people, real studies, show that the oldest born tends to be smarter than their younger siblings. Why? Because their parents were so damn hard on them! Parents tend to be a little more lax when it comes to younger siblings. Oldest siblings are forced to perform because they HAVE TO. It kinda sucks while you're growing up, but guess who has the last laugh?! That old little bugger!
4. Oldest Siblings Are Nurturers
Well, this one is as obvious as the red butt on a baboon. The oldest sibling loves to take care of others. Which makes the oldest child a perfect partner for last borns. Years of taking care of their younger siblings has led the oldest child to be a nurturing caring caretaker. I’ve done everything from clean up my sister’s drunken vomit to drag her to get tested. I mean, heck someone’s got to do it and it sure as hell isn’t going to be our mom.
5. Oldest Siblings Are Great Organizers
The oldest child can plan a vacation with the same zeal Puffy Daddy does when choosing a new name. Hotels will be reserved, flights will be booked, and activities selected before you can blink an eye. Never will you have to worry about things going haphazard again. The oldest has got it under control!
Images: Mateus Lunardi Dutra /Flickr; Giphy
Want more sex? Of course you do. So download Bustle's app from iTunes for all the most recent sex and relationships news, advice, memes, and GIFs from around the Web. Guaranteed to fulfill you more than your ex.
