Why Doesn’t Anyone Think 'BB's John Is A Dentist?

Can we talk for a minute about this John guy? You know, the John on Season 17 of Big Brother with the pale skin and the super nervous laugh and the weird voice thing going on? Because there is a lot to say about this dude. The main thing, though, is how everyone in the house thinks John’s lying about being a dentist. Granted, they didn’t get to see his introductory video, shot for pretty believably in a dentist’s office (with semi-believable patient primed and ready to go), but is it really so hard to believe that this guy is what he says he is? I mean, there was an entire scene in which he was flossing his teeth, so that must stand for something, right?

Sure, a ton of people on Big Brother lie about what they do and who they are to better fly under the radar, but it’s kind of funny to me how no one believes this poor guy is a dentist. It’s not like he’s claiming to be a rock star (although he has claimed to be that, too — a rock star dentist, that is).

So what is it about John that is making the houseguests doubt his profession so hardcore? More importantly, what is it about dentists that make the houseguests not believe John could be one of them? Here’s my best guess as to why they’re all suspicious:

1. Because Your Dentist Looks Like This

OK, fine. Mine too.

2. Because He Talks Like This

Seriously, what is happening with his voice?

3. Because His Teeth Are Kinda Yellow

I’m sorry, but it’s true. Every single dentist I know — even every dental hygienist — has, like, the most perfect teeth ever. John’s teeth? Not so much.

4. Because You Don’t Want To Picture His Bedside Manner

Would you really want this man drilling holes into your teeth?

5. Because He’s Taking Three Months Off To Play A Game

Can dentists… do that?

Now that I’m looking at this list, I kind of get it. But only time will tell if John is really who he says he is.

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Image: CBS (2); Giphy (3); Getty Images