Lisbon-based Rita Gomes — or "Wasted Rita," as she calls herself — is an artist — or rather, "an artist, I guess," she says — whose self-deprecation, evident in her own introductory video, makes her work as endearing and relatable as it is depressing. Darkly humorous platitudes like "wake up and smell the routine" took off on her blog and were recently the subject of the exhibit "Human Beings — God's Only Mistake" in Lisbon. The show featured phrases drawn on walls, baseballs, jackets, and other backdrops that similarly start off familiar and take a turn for the cynical; one gold-painted baseball reads "we'll fail worse." The show's web page describes it as "an intimate journey to the personal universe of the artist who presents herself as an 'emotional terrorist and agent provocateur'" as well as a "biting visual narrative that will help us understand, in an unequivocal yet poetic way, why each of us is also God's only mistake."
Since not everyone could see Gomes' "visual narrative" live, she made its featured "Misfortune Messages" accessible to her Instagram followers. And if you've ever suffered from low self-esteem (and who hasn't?), they sound way, way too familiar. Here are some Wasted-Rita-coined phrases that we've all heard before... in our own heads:
1. "One life, one chance to f— it all up."
The clock's a-ticking, so better get cracking on that.
2. "You're a really hot piece of meat in the process of decay."
A helpful reminder that everything is temporary.
3. "You'll do great, as soon as you start doing."
Which is never.
4. "Unfortunately well-dressed and interesting are two different things."
You're not fooling anyone.
5. "Everything will be all right if you keep drinking like you are 22."
Betcha T-Swift didn't anticipate that interpretation.
6. "All you need is a kick-ass boot licking speech and very convincing forced smile."
To hell with love.
7. "The sooner you hit the bottom, the faster you'll be ready to hit the bottom again."
Do not pass go; do not collect $200.
8. "Procrastinate more. There's really nothing more important you could do."
Except, you know, fail at something else.
9. "You could be great if you were not so comfortable being mediocre."
Or you could face the discomfort of your own mediocrity. Take your pick.
10. "Whenever things are getting good, make sure you know it will get worse."
There's always room for deterioration.
11. "Your life would suck without all the things that make your life suck."
There is literally nothing that can stop your life from sucking.
12. "It doesn't get more heavenly than this shit."
And by "more heavenly" I mean "less shitty."
13. "Smile, you are not Paris Hilton."
Well, I guess there's one thing we can all feel good about.
You can eavesdrop of more of Gomes's inner thoughts on her Instagram, but I can't be held liable for any damage it deals to your mental health. But hey — at least we've all been there, right?
Images: wastedrita/Instagram (13)
