Watch The X-Rated 'Magic Mike XXL' (Sort Of)

Fans have been waiting what feels like eons for the release of Magic Mike XXL , and I am already anticipating the disappointment. Not with the film, exactly. I am sure I will love every bumping-and-grinding minute of this brilliant thing. Instead, I am anticipating the letdown that comes after every single viewing of the first Magic Mike. You know the one, when you realize that there is just no getting behind the loose sweatpants or thick jeans on those lovely stacks of man meat, because, unfortunately this film is rated R, not NC-17, which means that there will be no extensive nudity, no graphic sex scenes, no hours-long clips of gyrating man parts. HARUMPH. (It should be noted, I like these movies for their brains AND their brawn. I just really like the brawn.) Instead there will be carefully placed costumes, strategically sized props, and camera angles that never quite get us as close as some of us would like to be. But, if you find yourself wanting a little… more… you’re in luck. Well, kind of. Some very creative people over at Vulture remixed Magic Mike XXL as '70s porn for all of our voyeuristic delights (see below).

Shrugging off the confines of the current rating system (and our current decade), Vulture brilliantly reimagines Magic Mike XXL as a ‘70s X-rated movie, much to my very greedy delight. And, guess what? It’s kinda better than the real thing. I mean, I haven’t seen the sequel yet, but considering all of the stuff in this remixed trailer, I’m guessing this edition would leave me much more satisfied. Here’s why:

1. Actual Sex

This is a no brainer, right? Who wants to watch two hours of Channing Tatum in sweatpants when you could watch two hours of Channing Tatum in nothing at all?

2. Those Cheesy Nicknames

Dong Lover? Boom Boom Bomer? Fluffy? Those sound so much better in the ‘70s.

3. All That Groovy Dancing

Those club scenes are bound to be hotter with everyone in polyester.

4. That Awesome Sound Mixing

With that grainy mic picking up every single sound, you can hear ev-er-y-thang.

So if the actual film leaves you… ahem… wanting, check out the remix below for a more exciting version of Magic Mike XXL.

Image: Warner Bros. Entertainment; Giphy (4)