Today's news that the Supreme Court has ruled gay marriage a constitutional right in all 50 states, making all marriages legal in all 50 states and declaring that all Americans have a constitutional right to get married, has us all feeling a little romantic. And why not? With today's verdict, now the only thing Americans need in order to get married is to be in love (or to be driving past on of those Elvis wedding chapels in Vegas). Mazel tov to every last one of you crazy kids!
As countless couples across the country celebrate their right to marry and begin planning their weddings, I'd like to offer as a gift the only wedding-related service I am qualified to give: the following selection of famous wedding vows, from both real and fictional couples. OK, that's not technically true, I'm actually one of those Internet-ordained ministers, but you probably don't want me performing your wedding (I tend to hit the open bar early and often). So let's stick with the vows.
No matter who ends up officiating your wedding, it's up to you to figure out something to say to your partner that is heartfelt, moving, sums up the love you feel for each other and doesn't include the phrases "go at it all night long" or "totally killer pecs." So check out the eight famous wedding vows below, and see if you get inspired — and if you tear up, don't worry. I'll totally tell everyone that you just got a piece of dust in your eye.
1. Ellen DeGeneres And Portia DeRossi
"Wait a minute, that's what I was going to say!" — Ellen DeGeneres, during her wedding to Portia DeRossi, after hearing Portia's vows
2. Ben Wyatt And Leslie Knope on Parks And Recreation
"The things that you have done for me to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You’re all I need. I love you and I like you.” — Leslie Knope
3. Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt
“They did not expect us never to fight, but they made us promise to always say, ‘Sorry,’ if we do...So they said, ‘Do you?,’ and we said, ‘We do!’” — Angelina Jolie, on the wedding vows her children wrote for her and Pitt to read
4. Meredith Grey And Derek Shepherd On Grey's Anatomy
Derek Shepherd: OK. What do we wanna promise each other?Meredith Grey: That you'll love me...even when you hate me.Derek: To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running. Ever! Nobody walks out. No matter what happens.Meredith: No running.Derek: What else?Meredith: That we'll take care of each other, even when we're old, and smelly, and senile. And...if I get Alzheimer's and forget you...Derek: I will remind you who I am, every day. To take care when old, senile, and smelly. This is forever.
5. George Takei And Brad Altman
Brad Altman: Over the more than 21 years we have been together, I have called you many things. Some of the things I have called you I can repeat here. I have called you: my life partner, my significant other, my longtime companion, my lover.
Now the California Supreme Court says our Golden State has marriage equality. Beginning today, a dream comes true for me. I can add “my husband” to the list of things I call you. George, I pledge to love you in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad times. I vow to love you always as my lawfully wedded husband.
George Takei : Brad, I first saw you about twenty-five years ago at a Frontrunner’s run around Silver Lake Reservoir. I thought you were drop-dead gorgeous! Then I saw that you were the best runner in the club to boot. Later, I learned that you had already run two marathons. I decided you were going to train me for my first marathon. And you did. You did a good job because I finished that 26.2 mile run. Since then, we’ve been running the marathon of life together for the last 21 years.
In those years, we’ve come to know each others’ strengths, shortcomings, and where we complement each other. Brad, you are an organized, detail-obsessed, punctuality-driven control freak. I’m easy-going with details. So we’re a perfect fit. We’ve worked together, achieved together, and enjoyed the fruits of our achievements together.
When my mother became ill and no longer could take care of herself, we moved her in with us. And you helped me care for her with the devotion and affection of a true son. So my vow to you is also a tribute to you.
As we bind our love with this wedding ceremony, in this forum of democracy, in this September of my life, I vow to care for you as you’ve cared for me, cherish you with all my heart, and love you as my husband and the only man in my life. I love you very much.
6. Monica Geller And Chandler Bing on Friends
Monica Geller: For so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now — here we are — with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go!
Chandler Bing: Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you...You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I’m sure?
7. Rachel and Sidney In Rachel Getting Married
Rachel: You are just so full of grace, and I promise before God and these beautiful people that I will love you fiercely and sweetly. And I look forward to sharing this great life with you. Thank you for marrying me.
Sidney: All that I ever wanted was to just hear music, and when I met you, I heard you. And Rachel, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Thank you for marrying me.
8. Marge and Homer Simpson On The Simpsons
"I will now read these special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. 'Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness' -- poorness is underlined -- 'in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey- navigated'... and it goes on like this." — Reverend Lovejoy
Images: Giphy (5)
