Well, here we go, folks. Over this past weekend, Kim Kardashian revealed that she's pregnant with a boy, so hold onto your butts. After a few weeks of speculation about what gender their next baby would be, the reality show star dropped the news via a Father's Day post thanking Kanye for being such a good dad to North West, and saying she couldn't wait to see how he is with their new baby boy as well, finally making it official. So, now that we have the good news, first of all, we can start guessing what this kid's name will be — South? Kanye Jr.? Due? Wild Wild? — and, second of all, we can start preparing for another boy to enter the Kardashian-Jenner clan.
Because here's the thing... it is pretty much wall-to-wall ladies up in that joint. Representing the women, we have Kris, Caitlyn, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloé, Kylie, Kendall, Penelope, and North, while repping the dudes are just Scott Disick, Rob Kardashian, Kanye himself, Mason Disick, and little baby Reign. In short, the world this new baby Kimye will be entering is super female-centric, and the earlier he starts adapting to that, the easier it will be. So who better to help prepare the way for the new baby boy than Mason Disick? He's 5 years old at this point, which is the perfect age to drop some knowledge bombs on the fetus headed our way earlier this year.
So here it is, Fetus West — tips on being a male Kardashian, from your cousin Mason Disick.
1. Have An On-Brand Middle Name
Mason's is Dash, which is also the name of the Kardashian's store, so that's taken. But maybe something Kanye themed? Like "Yeezy?" That's probably a step in the right direction.
2. Cultivate A Famous Older Friend
This works especially well if you choose someone troubled, like Justin Bieber. Every time he so much as dunks you in the pool, the world pays attention, and you're also distracting him from his other life of egging houses and prank-calling Selena Gomez.
3. Get A Hobby (Skateboarding)
In a family this size, where literally every member is so successful, you're gonna need a "thing" to stand out. Mason seems to have chosen skateboarding, so can I recommend cooking? I don't think anyone's done that yet.
4. Bond With Any Other Dude You Can Get Your Hands On
They're hard to come by in this clan, so grab onto them wherever you find them. Bros gotta stick together.
5. Get Comfortable With The Female Body Early On
Because you're gonna grow up with it all around you. It's a beautiful thing, and the Kardashian ladies like to exercise their agency by showing a lot of their bodies via tasteful photoshoots and amazing outfits.
6. Savor The Feeling Of Being The Youngest
Because it won't last long around here. And you know as soon as the older sisters stop having kids, the younger girls are going to start, so it's gonna be babies galore for the next decade or so.
7. Don't Get Too Precious With Your Privacy
Why not? Because you don't have any, and you haven't since the moment you were born. Sahreeeeee!
8. Don't Hold Your Breath For A Haircut
Because it ain't coming.
9. Prepare To Be Mistaken For Your Sister
Not that that's a bad thing! It's just that the genes are strong with these Kardashians, so might as well get used to it.
I already feel like the new baby can handle this, especially with Mason Disick at his side. He's got the world on his shoulders, but, as soon as he is born, he'll surely know that Mason is always there, ready to catch him.
