Why You Shouldn't Get Hammered At Your Own Wedding

It's such a cliché that every bride wants their wedding to be perfect. I mean, it's true that every bride does want their wedding to be perfect, but I'm pretty sure every groom does too. He might groan over flower arrangements and beg to watch sports instead (gender stereotypes, am I right?), but any sane, in love, excited human probably wants what's supposed to be the most romantic, joy filled day of their coupled lives to run smoothly, in order to maximize on happiness and laughter. So let's just say: People getting married, overall, are people who want their wedding day to go well. Unfortunately, someone missed the memo, and by someone I mean this guy who got drunk at his own wedding. (UPDATE: The video from the wedding has since been removed.) No one wants a spouse who's too hammered to stand up for their own wedding dance. I believe that's a genderless desire.

As the groom stumbles about, dancing stupidly, falling to the floor, clawing at his wife, trying and failing to remove her garter and then collapsing on top of her, she's rightly stunned, and increasingly angered. You will seriously want to take this woman by the hand, snatch a bottle of white wine and a pack of cigarettes, and find a quiet corner to let her talk it through with you after watching this. She manages to have the stony face of a woman who knows enough of a scene is already being caused without adding to it, but who is boiling on the inside. As she fights back tears, there is no way this groom's drunken antics are within the bounds of what is acceptable for their wedding night.

Meanwhile, whoever uploaded this video to the internet is an ultimate jerk. This poor woman probably doesn't need her failed wedding broadcast for the world to see. Although I guess you could call me a hypocrite because I'm sitting here writing about it. So let's try and make a better situation out of this, and applaud this very strong lady who managed not to murder her new husband on the dance floor (I would not have been as composed as she), and admonish this fool for being such an inconsiderate drunk moron on his special day and ruining it for everyone. And in the spirit of love, let's hope these two managed to work it out, and if there's a drinking problem involved, that the man worked that out too.

So the lovely bride in the above video doesn't feel so alone, here are some more drunk wedding disasters that prove you should really pace yourself at your wedding:

1. This groom who was so drunk he got arrested before the wedding ceremony

Wow. OK. That's one of the most depressing things I've ever seen.

2. This drunk groom who killed his wife in a car accident on their wedding night

Nope. This is the most depressing thing I've ever seen.

3. This drunk groom who thinks he's Magic Mike

Okay, this is a little bit of lighter fare. Just embarrassing, no life ruining or death here.

4. This drunk bride who confused her wedding with her husband's bachelor party

5. This drunk bride who ran away from her wedding

TL;DR: There is a fine line between classily tipsy and falling down drunk at your own wedding. Learn what it is BEFORE you have an audience of everyone you've ever known.

Image: YouTube