After the fanfare of having been proposed to has died off and you’ve already dropped too much money on a dress for the engagement party you technically didn’t even want, every engaged woman will find herself alone in her thoughts. It’s in these moment, the very few that aren’t riddled with questions from her friends and family about the wedding, that she will scream into her pillow, “Enough already!” Because, as I wrote last week, being engaged has some pretty sh*tty downsides to it, and being asked 300 questions a day is nothing compared to the annoyance of exactly what those inquiries are.
Although we honestly can’t fault everyone for asking the same questions or making the same comments, the ones that every person thinks they’re the first to make, we are allowed to be aggravated about it all. The time between the proposal and when you walk down the aisle is a very stressful one, so if you need to scream into your pillow a few times a week, no one will blame you.
If you’ve been engaged, you know exactly what I’m talking about here. If you’ve yet to be engaged, then your time is coming, my friends. Here are the 17 things every engaged woman is sick to death of hearing, and if you’re not, then congratulations on having one hell of a tolerance for people.
1. “When Is The Wedding?”
Before you can even really enjoy the fact that you're engaged, this question just starts coming at you left and right. Everyone, even people you know you're not inviting, apparently need to clear their calendar a year in advance or they won't be able to make it. Who are these people that plan that far ahead for anything?
2. “I Hope You’re Having An Open Bar.”
Yes, I totally get that you want to get drunk on my dime. I heard you LOUD AND CLEAR the first 30 times you said it.
3. “There Better Be Some Cute Boys There.”
If there aren't, you're not coming? Is this a threat? Because it feels like a thinly veiled threat.
4. “Can I Go Dress Shopping With You?”
Hey, if you want to spend an off day trailing along behind me while I try on dresses, go right ahead. Who am I to judge you for not having better things to do with your time? Just stop asking me about it though.
5. “Are You Going On A Pre-Wedding Diet?”
Well, it depends on what you call diet. If by diet you mean, sticking to the three basic food groups: pizza, tacos, and chili fries, then yes.
6. “Please Put Me At The ‘Cool’ Table.”
Every time I heard this, I had flashbacks to high school. What even constitutes as "cool" in the adult world? The table with the drunks? Sure, you can sit with the drunks. Just hold their hair back when they get sick later.
7. “Will There Be A Singles’ Table?”
No. Next question.
8. “Will I Know Anybody There?”
I think you shouldn't care about such things, and quit checking in on who's responded in the affirmative and who hasn't.
9. “I Think You Should/Shouldn’t Write Your Own Vows.”
I don't know why, but everyone had an opinion on this aspect of the wedding. They also wanted to know the length of the ceremony because, I'm assuming, they couldn't wait to get to the open bar.
10. “If I Were Getting Married I’d Do It This Way…”
Lalala! I can't hear you!
11. “Can I Have A Plus-One?”
Why don't you check back and see if you make the cut, then we can discuss whether or not you get to bring some random friend of yours just because you don't want to come alone.
12. “I Know A Great Photographer.”
Suddenly everyone knew a "great" photographer or pastry chef or wedding planner or graphic designer or DJ — the list went on.
13. "You Know You Have To..."
Ah, sticking to that whole wedding schedule thing again, huh? Nope. I actually don't have to do anything.
14. “Sooo…. How Did He Propose?”
I get that everyone wants to hear the juicy details about how the proposal went down, but by the 500th time, I was just over it. So, I just shortened the story way up to basically just say, "He said let's get hitched." I felt it closed down the topic pretty fast and the conversation could steer away from my wedding and on to more important things like what we should order for brunch.
15. “I Went To This Wedding And…”
I don't care. I really don't. I don't care about how they did the flowers, how they wore their hair, or how they had the best wedding EVER. I don't care.
16. “Are You Excited?"
I was until I was asked this dumb question yet again.
17. “I Bet You’ll Feel Better When This Is All Over! Haha!"
And, of course, it’s always said with the exact same I'm-so-funny-yet-sarcastic way that people looove to ask on 101-degree days: “Is it hot enough for you?” Stop talking. Everyone just STOP TALKING.
Images: Alda Silva/Flickr; Giphy(17)
