Sex Dolls Will Soon Be Talking Dirty To You

In today's episode of "Science is Effing Awesome," you may soon be able to purchase a sex doll that talks dirty to you, if that's something you're into. Maybe you're bored of regular old human dirty talk, or you simply no longer want to deal with real people in bed at all (who can blame you?). Matt McMullen, the creator of RealDoll sex toys, has your back. He is teaming up with Hanson Robotics on a project he's calling Realbotix, which aims to develop an insanely high-tech new doll that will use artificial intelligence to be able to blink as well as have a conversation with you. If that's not some "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century" shit, I don't know what is.

Ideally, the doll will be able to dish out dirty talk to the human it is interacting with; this semi-sentience, McMullen tells the New York Times, will be a "much more impressive pay-off" than just the gyrating hip movements of the doll. And there should be a high pay-off, because the head of the doll alone is set to retail at $10,000, and will be available within the next two years. If you're looking to spend even more of the millions you won in the lottery (because literally how else could you afford this?), you can purchase the full body for between $30,000 and $60,000, though that probably won't be available anytime soon. The prototype that's in the works is named "Harmony," which IMHO is not nearly futuristic enough — can we get a "Nebula" or "Princess Leia" doll instead?

If you're all about the high-tech changes that are happening in the world of sex, check out these three other ways that sex is turning futuristic AF before our eyes.

1. Space Porn

Yep, you read that right. PornHub is crowdsourcing money to make the first-ever adult film set in space, because no corner of the universe is safe, apparently. If they meet their $3.4 million goal, some very lucky (and very brave) porn actors will be headed off to space to do some zero-gravity banging. Hey, we can't knock it until we try it, right?

2. Virtual Reality Porn

For those fortunate souls with money to burn, you can now watch porn in virtual reality, because it seems like we want our masturbation to be as un-masturbation-like as possible these days. With the purchase of a headset, you can sit back, relax, and watch porn as if it's happening to you, not at you. You can even purchase a sex toy that syncs up to the VR porn, so it looks and feels like the real deal. Say goodbye to those dirty magazines you found in your attic — they're so yesterday.

3. "Smart" Vibrators

FitBits are so hot right now, so why wouldn't you want one that can improve your sex life rather than just telling you that you need to jog more? The Lovely vibrator sits around the base of the penis (or a dildo or your fingers) and uses Bluetooth technology to track how many calories you burn during sex as well as things like your "top speed." It uses all the data it gathers and your personal preferences to suggest new positions for you and your partner to try, so sex can be even more amazing. Thank you, technology, for this #blessing.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy (3)