Fashion
15 Chunky Heeled Shoes For Those Of Us Who Would Eat It Hard In Stilettos
I'm gonna get real with you guys for a second: I straight up can't walk in stilettos, and I am therefore destined to live a life of chunky heeled shoes. It's not like I haven't tried, or that I don't want it enough. I've watched Youtube tutorials and practiced in my apartment — which ended in my clutching to my dresser or desk for dear life... every single time. And, on a super embarrassing note, my boyfriend can even walk better in them (read: not break his neck) than I can. So, there's that or whatever.
I just straight up can't do it. I've rolled enough ankles and been through enough events where I start walking like a senile penguin 20 minutes in to know it. It kind of sucks, because high heels are gorgeous and sometimes comfy flats can really ruin an outfit. But something kind of amazing has happened recently in fashion that means I can join the beautiful, wonderful world of heel-wearing women. Get this: Chunky heels are back in. And this time around, the variety and chic factor are pretty impeccable.
Previously remanded to the '90s — where Steve Madden was the undisputed king of the chunky heel — these sturdy babies have finally become un-passé. Finally, I can rock some height without worrying about breaking my face in front of really fancy people. I'm really pumped (pun absolutely intended) about it, and I hope you are too. So here are 15 amazing chunky-heeled shoes to help us clumsy chicks strut with the rest of them.
New Look Wide Fit Tipsy Black Heeled Sandals
Full disclosure, these black sandals are so cute I may or may not have purchased them immediately after writing this roundup. These classy black shoes go with everything and also keep your toes nice and cool, which like, how do you say no to?
New Look Wide Fit Tipsy Black Heeled Sandals, $50, asos.com
Near Or Far-Out Heel
In another life, when I’m a rich Manhattan socialite who frequently attends rooftop garden parties, these are the shoes I will wear to a lovely brunch.
Near or Far-Out Heel, $170, modcloth.com
Aerosoles Tapestry Pump
If you’re too busy taking the corporate world by the balls to worry about statement shoes, these are the pumps for you. They’re simple, sturdy, and perfect for crushing the competition.
Aerosoles Tapestry Pump, $50, dsw.com
Gavotte To Trot Heel in Noir
I’m a sucker for cute, quirky t-straps. According to the reviews, these puppies need a bit of breaking in, but once you do, they fit like a glove.
Gavotte to Trot Heel in Noir, $130, modcloth.com
Dolce Vita Franney Sandals
Whether you’re trotting through Milan or just attending your cousin’s graduation party, these strappy sandals are the ultimate summer shoe.
Dolce Vita Franney Sandals, $120, forever21.com
ASOS PENDULUM Platform Shoes
These gorgeous white platforms are great for retro-inspired outfits — or just paired with a floral sundress. I, personally, would probably fall on my face in anything this high, but I have faith in you.
ASOS PENDULUM Platform Shoes, $57, asos.com
Faux Leather Chelsea Booties
These badass booties are perfect for in or outside the office. I’d join these with a pair of leather leggings and a loose white tee. But that’s just me.
Faux Leather Chelsea Booties, $33, forever21.com
Perforated Lace-Up Peep Toe Booties
Instead of just a perforated panel, these guys are perforated all the way around. And the lace-up peep toe is too cute to pass up.
Perforated Lace-Up Peep Toe Booties, $35, forever21.com
Isn't Tea Lovely? Heel
These Dia de Los Muertos-inspired shoes are unique and adorable to boot. If you do decide to get them though, make sure you study up on the cultural significance of the holiday and support Mexican artists. Cultural appropriation isn’t cool!
Isn’t Tea Lovely? Heel, $50, modcloth.com
Women's Kim Button Mary Jane
Simple and chic, these shoes go with everything. The heels are a bit on the thinner side, so they’re great if you’re eventually trying to train yourself up to stilettos.
Women’s Kim Button Mary Jane, $35, payless.com
Rangoni By Amalfi Kate Suede Bow Pump
These gorgeous suede shoes come in three colors. Sophisticated and classy, they’re ideal for a job interview or giving a presentation.
Rangoni by Amalfi Kate Suede Bow Pump, $130, dsw.com
Valencia Soon Heel
OK, so, the floral accents on these slingbacks alone are enough to make me swoon. These would be precious for a first date or a jaunt on the boardwalk.
Valencia Soon Heel, $165, modcloth.com
ASOS PORT High Heels
Let’s face it, rocking white shoes isn’t easy. And white shoes with thick heels? Even less easy. But these shoes, with their unique design, are just different enough to give your look the quirky-chic factor you’re looking for.
ASOS PORT High Heels, $57, asos.com
Kenneth Cole Reaction Spur Pump
A variation on the pointy-toed pump for the clumsiest among us. These shoes keep the class while making sure you don’t bust your ass. (I’m SO proud of that, you guys.)
Kenneth Cole Reaction Spur Pump, $70, dsw.com
This Day And Golden Age Heel
I saved the best for last. Irregular Choice is known for wacky, intricate designs. While that can sometimes turn into shoes that are hard to wear outside of special occasions, these strike the balance between whimsical and functional. And besides, there’s no way you can wear these without feeling a spring in your step.
This Day and Golden Age Heel, $165, modcloth.com
