Marge & Homer Simpson Are Finally Separating

UPDATE: While Homer and Marge Simpson will be breaking up in an upcoming episode, The Simpsons wants to make it clear that the separation is not for good. They did this in a humorous tweet featuring Bart Simpson assuring fans Homer and Marge weren't breaking up that was posted to The Simpsons' official Twitter account.

Stop the rumors, guys.

Apologies in advance to Bart, Lisa, and Maggie — who, now that I think about it, has been in diapers for a hundred years and won't really be affected by all this — but Homer and Marge Simpson were never meant to be. I mean, yes, they were meant to procreate because Lisa is this country's only shining hope. And Maggie, though void of personality for 26 seasons, is adorable, nevertheless. (No comment on Bart.) But as far as fictional couples go, it isn't at all surprising to hear that Simpsons' matriarch Marge and her dopey husband Homer will be getting legally separated in the first episode of the 27th season, according to executive producer Al Jean. Now just wait until you hear the reason for their split.

Lena Dunham. Yes, Lena Dunham .

The actress will play Homer's pharmacist for at least one episode, but those precious 30 minutes are just enough to convince doofy Homer that he is totally in love with a woman who dispenses his drugs. In an interview with Variety, Jean described the decision to separate Marge and Homer:

In the premiere, it's discovered after all the years Homer has narcolepsy and it’s an incredible strain on the marriage. Homer and Marge legally separate, and Homer falls in love with his pharmacist, who’s voiced by Lena Dunham. We’ll have cameos from the other women from Girls.

Narcolepsy? Homer is the one who leaves Marge for another woman? Have the writers failed to realize that a break from "D'oh!' Homer is exactly what this sassy woman needs in her life?! (By the way, this being The Simpsons, there's a good chance they'll end up back together. Don't fret too much.)

Obviously, it won't be easy because now Marge will be stuck with the challenge of raising three children, one of whom is a possible sociopath. This won't make for an easy single dating life. With that said, I can think of at least seven reasons (because I have to stop somewhere) why Marge is going to be so much better off without Homer:

1. She can finally indulge in her fantasy of being bedded by a sea captain with a heaving chest

2. She no longer has to deal with Homer's cutesy attempts to evade responsibility and get out trouble

3. She won't have to pretend to be amused by Homer's low-brow humor or explain why Louis is funny to him

4. She can finally keep a neat, orderly home — because you could sense Homer's lax attitude about cleanliness got under her skin

5. Now that she no longer has to babysit her husband, Marge will have time to explore her own career options — maybe even go back to school

6. She'll use a portion of the money they split to turn her bathroom into a luxury spa and erase all evidence of Homer

7. And, finally, given the fact the other Girls will make appearances this season, my fingers are crossed that Jessa will help Marge expand her mind in ways she never dreamed were possible

Three cheers for newly single lady Marge Simpson!

Images: FOX; Giphy (6)