5 Ways Mercury Retrograde Is Messing You Up

Imagine a solid three weeks that are filled with only Mondays, Netflix streaming issues, and a continual bad case of PMS. Actually, you don't even need to use your imagination. Mercury Retrograde pretty much makes this hypothetical nightmare a reality for everyone.

If you're anything like me, you might not be too familiar with astrology and all of the insanity that comes along with it. When I first heard the term Mercury Retrograde, I just assumed it was a new sci-fi film or some indie band that was playing at Bonnaroo. But no, Mercury Retrograde is actually a scientific phenomenon that exists for the sole purpose of making our lives miserable. You're not going crazy — the planets are just going nuts.

For the sake of education, let's break down a simplified explanation of what exactly is happening up there in the sky to inspire all of this chaos. Basically, the planet Mercury slows down, and then appears to completely stop and move backward. Of course, all of this is just a tricky optical illusion. Unfortunately, the effects of this anomaly are anything but.

Astrologists maintain that Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, travel, and truth. Needless to say, when this planet decides to go haywire on us, people can get a little crazy. Knowledge is power, right? So, let's take a quick look at the different ways Mercury Retrograde might be messing with your mood.

1. Nothing is working right

If your computer is on the fritz and your phone just can't seem to do what it's supposed to, that's Mercury Retrograde at work. With Mercury's extremely high iron content, Mercury Retrograde is basically equivalent to having a ginormous magnet pass directly between the Earth and the sun. As you might expect, that can lead to some technological issues. Computer problems and shoddy access to Netflix is probably enough to make even Mother Teresa crabby. But, try to stay patient. This will all be over soon.

2. You feel irritable and argumentative

The other night, I caught myself snapping at my fiancé about the fact that he has stuff everywhere. Because, you know, apparently I can live here comfortably, but he needs to be absolutely perfect at all times. While he may argue that I'm always that testy, I'm blaming Mercury Retrograde. Since Mercury rules both communication and clear thinking, you can be hit with a double whammy that makes you feel agitated and inspires you to pick fights. Cross your fingers that everyone around you is either feeling just as snappy or extremely patient, or you might lose some friends.

3. You just want to hide from the world

If you've been feeling like you just want to stay under your covers and become a hermit, you're not alone. When you feel annoyed, nothing's working right, and all of your conversations seem to immediately run off the track, why would you want to get out of bed and go out into the world? You know what? Maybe just stay there until all of this is over. It's probably for the best anyway.

4. You're absentminded

Did you leave your curling iron plugged in? Lock your keys in your car? Miss an important work meeting? Forget your mom's birthday? Blame Mercury, my friends. As the planet that rules clear thinking, you probably won't be back on your game until Mercury goes direct again. Until then, write things down and hope for the best.

5. You can't make a decision

Mercury Retrograde breeds indecisiveness, so don't be surprised if making a decision seems next to impossible. With all of the communication issues that come along with this time, you likely won't even have all of the information necessary to make an important decision. So, hold off on making any life-altering choices until everyone is back in their right mind.

According to the 2015 Farmer's Almanac, this period of Mercury Retrograde will end on June 11. So, you only need to survive a few more days of this insanity. But, count your lucky stars! Mercury Retrograde happens three to four times a year, and we should be dealing with these shenanigans again for three weeks starting September 17. At least now you know what you're dealing with, right?

Images: lauren rushing/Flickr; Giphy (5)