I don't want to be a Debby Downer or anything, because I'm as big a fan of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette as anyone, but it's safe to say that those shows don't provide exclusively happy endings, right? I know it's billed as the fairy tale method of finding love, but, at the end of the day, it features 25 contestants competing for the top prize on a game show, a prize which is getting engaged to someone you've known for a matter of weeks, during which time they've also been dating every single one of your roommates. On national television. With odds like that, we're honestly lucky that the fairy tale method works out as often as it does.
But, even when these magical relationships that don't work out, there are still a wide variety of outcomes. Sometimes the show does a good job of pairing people who seem like they have a fighting chance, or even people whose breakups surprise us, but, sometimes, right out of the gate, it's obvious that they're doomed. And, again, this isn't about being a pessimist; it's about being a realist and looking at the signs.
Here are seven couples from the franchise who were throwing up red flags from day one.
1. Juan Pablo Galavis And Nikki Ferrell
COME ON. Don't fight me on this one. Not only did almost everyone in the house have a problem with Nikki, but Juan Pablo could barely even make eye contact with her when choosing her at the finale, let alone tell her he loved her, which is something she'd been saying to him for weeks already. Yikes.
2. Desiree Hartsock And Chris Siegfried
Hear me out. I know these two got engaged in the finale and have been happily married since earlier this year, but, after the way everything went down with Brooks Forester leaving, I was convinced every step of the way that things were gonna go south. But, like I said, they did get married, so it's just proof that sometimes I'm wrong, and people beat the odds!
3. Jake Pavelka And Vienna Girardi
Remember how skeeved out everybody was when Jake chose Vienna? Because she didn't seem like she was There For The Right Reasons? Well, turns out we should've listened to that instinct, because it wasn't long before the two of them had broken up, and started using all their extra time as single people to smear each others' names in the press! So romantic.
4. Brad Womack And Emily Maynard
Emily seems like a lovely gal, but, when the dude you find yourself opposite also holds the dubious honor of being the only Bachelor ever to reject both options at the Final Rose Ceremony, things don't look good for the two of you.
5. Clint Arlis And JJ Lane
No, no, your memory isn't deceiving you — there hasn't been a season of The Bachelor that you somehow missed. Clint and JJ are actually two contestants on this season of The Bachelorette, with Kaitlyn Bristowe. They formed a bromance, and everything is happening really fast, and it's all new and exciting... but I suspect they're flying too close to the sun, and it's all gonna fall to pieces around them.
6. Lorenzo Borghese And Jennifer Wilson
Having a season of The Bachelor overseas is a great idea... but it also makes the entire process feel like a vacation, so the couples never really have to do any hard work or live in the real world. By the time Lorenzo and Jennifer were ready to make a go of it in the states, the stresses of having a long-distance relationship were way too much for them to take on. Also, Lorenzo didn't propose in the finale, which I've found is always a death knell for a Bachelor/ette union.
7. Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski
Now, I should say that Jillian was my favorite Bachelorette ever, so I didn't notice at the time that she and Ed weren't a great fit. But, in hindsight, the fact that he walked away from the season midway through for work reasons, and then came back, should have been a big indicator to all of us that he didn't have what it takes for the long haul. We could've saved ourselves, and the two of them, a lot of time if we'd just picked up on the signals in the first place.
Images: Getty Images (4); Rick Rowell/ABC (2); Giphy (1)
